Mykelti

For the Poetry Prompt contest: required mention of the following words - "fire", "lips", "rainbows", "orb", and "angel".

Though I never took you here, you line the seashore,

your figure running across the rocks and dipping down

into the tidal pools. Cradling an underwater orb in

clumsy palms, the blunted pencil urchin a perfect fit;

your eyes sparkle, reflecting rainbows of colour.

 

At day's end, you race the setting sun's fire,

joyous, you dash along and fling the sand loose

with bronzed limbs flailing. In this moment,

wreathed in the sun's glow, you look your part.

 

And mine, mother to an angel, is obvious: everywhere

I stand, every direction I face, I watch your lips

as they shape words that the wind carries away,

buries in dark caves along the water's edge.

 

Every day you disappear, slip a little further under the waves;

and still, though I never took you here, you line the seashore.

Author's Note

All polite/relevant reviews are welcome - especially constructive critique, but also including grammar and spelling corrections. And thank you for reading/leaving a review!

Reviews

[Devan McKinley]

beautiful.

[screamin'ian]

Echoing other reviews: it is beautiful imagery. Somber mood. I enjoyed reading it

[L]

This is beautiful,
such great imagery,
so happy and free

[Meghan]

This is fantastic! I love the imagery you used! This is how I wish I could write. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!!

[Little Birdie]

Singlehandedly perhaps one of the greatest works of art I've ever witnessed. No joke.

[Marie Harrison]

Brought tears to my eyes.
Wonderful writing!

[deeps]

This is a very beautiful write.
It's so light and lovely.
I enjoyed this.

[Poeticadia]

Oh, how the essence and spirit of the child comes to life in your lines; investigating and absorbed and full of energy. And even though we know "I never took you there", the image of it all being taken away on the wind and buried is deeply moving and striking too. As it gradually slips away, the heart slips with it and the full impact of the first line is now brought home in the last, with the full weight of the poem behind it. Wonderful poetry!

[E.V. Black]

Oh my goodness goddess, this was more than just a beautiful piece. Beautiful can't even BEGIN to describe this. There is a magic inside of this, much like rainbows, that bounces off and reflects the wonderful light inside. The way you weaved in all the assigned words is just...pure magic. Wonderful, simple magic. And the love for the daughter in the poem was pure beauty. I could feel the warmth of the sun and the mother's love.

More than a great job. This was spectacular. I am very impressed. Thank you for entering into my contest!