What's this?

What have I become? I dont belong here. What have I wrought? And what have others sewn from me? What sinister discord hath wretched this umbral, odious, vengeful agony forth from the fathoms of myself. Is this all me? Rage turned to the deepest ebony writhing and undulating neath the light of day before my inquisitive eyes. What wondrous noise it howls! Wails like souls bursting through the night in excruciating pain. Like the glint of a silver blades cusp breaching the soft supple skin of the vile and the tremulous. The vermin and the innocent alike share the earthen pall. This shadow trapped in the paroxysm of revelation. Thus engendering something truly heinous, and yet, true. Honest. The kind of sincerity only found in the devilry of sins inner workings. The insidious clockwork. W****s, charlatans, naysayers, puppeteers, usurpers, and those of their ilk all dilapidated cogs greased by their own bile, piss, and excrement. All of it foaming around us with its fiendish grasp. Enslaving our wills into one accord. And yet we lunge toward it beckoning with groveling hands and gaping eyes longing for this divinely horrid succubus to take us. And deliver us to the infernal pit itself. So I would see it appealing in this existential twilight. Life and death gallivanting together in harmony. Waltzing in a nightmare where I should only greet prostration and the tears I haven't found the capacity to shed. Then left bereft and absent of repose upon awakening. Catharsis locked away and obfuscated by the perpetual torment of the almighty horologist. The ends justification has no means to it. Simply the causality of a madman. Kill me or be killed. Thousand fold the horror of the morrows unfolds before me and cascades through my mirror as I stare through my reflection. My universe has fallen piecemeal. What paltry good will had been shared with myself? This serpentine sedition that evokes such angst and grief within me. Its wailing lament, the pang of echoes, the ethereal melodic screeching that bores through my heart like ravenous rats lash their plague ridden teeth through refuse and necrosis. Am I not of the unrelenting volition to hasten this vicissitude to its magnum opus? And climax with death? Usher me to my fate as boiling blood churns in my veins.