a bittersweet dream

just a dream i had

I looked at the time, 3:27am, what had just happened, I saw him, I was happy, how could I be happy with him there, I grabbed my blanket and sat up, I wrapped it round me as if I were in a cocoon, I leant forward and cried, I never had dreams, why did my one vivid dream have to be that, it was so colorful, just like a memory in a movie, so sweet, yet painful. I looked over at the mirror on my dresser and sure enough hanging from it was the necklace, I closed my eyes and cried harder trying to muffle the sounds in my blanket so that my parents wouldn’t be woken, with my eyes closed I went over everything I had just dreamed.

I remember sitting in the kitchen talking to my parents feeling as if something was missing, I kept glancing out the back window waiting for something or someone and I can’t remember what we had been talking about. I heard a noise and I knew it was what I had been waiting for, I ran out the back door and I saw it, a truck was backing into our backyard, my parents came out to join me, their faces grim, I was so happy even though they looked so sad, the truck stopped and I turned back to it preparing to run towards whoever I’d been waiting for. I saw him step out of the truck and I started crying, a happy crying.

As I started to run towards him two sets of hands caught my arms, what? Who could be stopping me from going to him, I turned my heads and found it was my parents their faces were blank, no expression what so ever, my tears turned to sobs, they were keeping me away from happiness, he looked over at me and smiled, ohh what a lovely smile, I struggled in my parents grip, the boy was walking towards the house now, I finally broke free of my parents grip and ran to meet the boy. As we embraced he lifted me of my feet and spun me round, he kissed my forehead and looked up at the sky, my tears had returned to being tears of joy, I was happy here, in his embrace.

He looked back down at me and whipped the tears from my face, he was still smiling.

 

I opened my eyes and I was back in my safe cocoon, why was I happy with him? I shouldn’t have been happy, I loved him once but that was all, he had hurt me and treated me like s**t but still loved him but I learnt my lesson, I knew what he had done was wrong and I’m lucky he hadn’t been able to do worst, I was scared that given the chance he would of done worse. I’d escaped from him for a year and a half and now he was back, in my dreams, where I can’t run from him can’t hideaway in the corner and what’s worse in my dream I was in love with him all over again.

I’m not sure what had made me keep the necklace, maybe I didn’t want to let go of the past, maybe I was still in love with him or maybe I was crazy, I looked at the clock again 3:30am it was still some time before I had to get ready for school, I wormed my way off my bed with my blanket still wrapped tight around me, the part wrapped around my head was soaked from tears and were I had bitten into to muffle my cries, I went to my computer chair and curled up on it, looking out the window I could see the moon, I closed my eyes and tried not to see his face, it was going to be a long day.    

Author's Note

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