Plea from the sea

Bound to the water, and sworn to the sea
Straying too far in to land was forbidden
Pain rippled in her heart and her body
Yet she no longer wished to stay hidden

“Be mine”, she screamed
“Be mine my legs would grow”
“Be mine”, she whimpered
“Be mine, my song will once again flow”

The waves crashed violently on the shore
In time with the thumping in her chest
Tears welled up increasingly
As she imagined kisses on ‘her’ lips

“Save me”, she screamed
“Save me as I once saved you”
“Save me”, she whimpered
“Save me, your debt is due”

She watched them walk into the sun set
In each others warm embrace
There was no sign of pain or loss in his gaze
It seemed she had left no trace

“Love me”, she screamed
“Love me as it was foretold”
“Love me”, she whimpered
“Love me, please… because I love you so”

Reviews

[Emunah June.]

( REVIEW FOR REVIEW CONTEST ENTRY )

Wow! This poem did such a great job of leaving a sorrowful taste in the reader's mouth. It felt very akin to ocean water -- salty, sick, and bitter. Heartbreak is one of those horrible feelings that many a poet have depicted, so much so that the market has become saturated with it. Writing on this topic is very difficult to make it stand out, and you my friend, did a great job!

I am unsure if it is just me, but I see alot of Little Mermaid parallels. The mention of her legs growing, the ocean, the love interest walking away with another . . . and if that was intentional, then i think it was a brilliant saltwater taffy-type twist on a classic. Its well executed and leaves the reader with a purposeful sense of loss and longing. And any art that can make someone feel something, is truly powerful art indeed.

Thank you so much for this! I appreciate you creating something so relatable and powerful.

Thank you for submitting this into the "Review for Review" contest!!

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! This was intense and so romantic; her voice is rippling like the waters.
Might be a mermaid looking for Mr. Right. Might be a vision of travel.
She won't stay hidden for sure.