hooked

motionless thoughts

they can not be moved

into the little chamber

where they all come from

my brain

 

it all starts there, and travels down a road

what ifs and don'ts

infused with corporate lies and materialistic ways

when it reaches its destination

they’re not the same

like a game of Chinese whispers

it all becomes a lie

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

This piece comes as one to ponder. Your words seem to speak of how when an idea is formed in the beginning it has one meaning, clear and steadfast, determined. Then as time goes on and it's wrung through the merri-go-round of life time and time again, those same thoughts evolve and morph, becoming new thoughts that may not be true to the original. Fascinating flow of ink! Much enjoyed!

Aaron

[plainme]

Very accurate approach, but what if time didn't play a big role here, and the uncertainty and lack of believe in ones opinion becomes infused with the views and opinions of todays society and the continuous fear of judgement by close ones and our so called neighbors that already have given up on the world and fight for themselves, playing the game?

Thank you for your comment, much appreciated!

F.

[Wolfwind]

It sounds a bit like a situation where the individual has gotten to the point where they've completely dissolved any trace of singularity and have become part of the synthetic oneness that is the social/political dynamic game?

[plainme]

losing singularity is a common phenomenon, we all label ourselves into small groups and lose the originality that we all have as human beings. Only a few remain untouched. This poem was just the analysis of a young and fresh mind who unlike others around him saw beyond the pre-carved path that has been chosen for us by others, not ourselves.

[Wolfwind]

I understand. =)

[Inda]

I love the seeming less nonsense you write, you've found a wonderful and effective way to deliver you message. Might i add that i enjoy this style very much.

[plainme]

Thanks a lot Inda, I really like the fact you like my work!

[Entropy of the mind]

That was beautiful.
I felt like I was traveling down a long winding road, weary and gray, searching for something I knew I would never find.
Its amazing.
I love your work, just the pure emotion of it is brilliant.
Keep it up.

[plainme]

Thank you very much, I'm very thankful for your review and am overjoyed with the fact you liked it so much!