Lulling Waves

Thoughts with emotion are jumbled deep within
As the surf starts to rise and fall
Non-sense in the mind freshly starts again

The world stagnantly passes with a sigh
Wave grow, violently crashing upon the shore
Wondering if there soon will be a goodbye

Still the tides continue to become high and low
The sun wakes, then again says good night
While the brain frolics, without a show

The cadence of the waves lulls the thought
Into a deep relaxing undisturbed sleep
Ending the memories, causing distraught.

Author's Note

this is a poem that I wrote for a writing group. Tell me what you think. Thanks

Reviews

[alesuriko]

Nicely written. The imagery is beautiful. I can vividly see in my mind the waves lapping against the shore and a solemn person sitting up anxiously, waiting and watching. Beautifully done.

Although, saying 'causing distraught' isn't grammatically correct. I can tell that you wrote it as such instead of distress in order to make it rhyme, but perhaps there is a better word to use to make it both flow and rhyme. This is of course only a suggestion. It works well with it and could add another kind of past tense aspect to the poem... the memories ended and thus distress is past tense maybe? It think it would work either way ^.^

Again, love the poem!

[ICE]

This piece is very calming. Good write!

[MissWordSmith]

Liked it a lot ! was one of those poems that made me think and think and think!
Send me down memory lane too! This was calming, yet thought provoking.
Loved it! Loved what it made me think! Keep writing!

[DBURKE]

This is a really good poem. It is deep and somehow ending with calmness (I guess that goes with the title "LULLING WAVES") Great poem

[The Analog Kid]

The waves are always there to remind us that the world was here before us and will continue after us. In the interim, our mind takes us all over the place with memories, thoughts and regrets, but eventually the "cadence" of the waves wins out and those memories are put to sleep. Real nice imagery. I enjoy reading your style.

Patrick

[Bette]

you did great, much better than mine. like always! lol. as always great job.