Deadly Serious

experimental form

 

 

Deadly Serious

 

 

A thin and thready threnody

played by the winds on the phone wires.

An eerie haunting melody

regretting unfulfilled desires.

 

A lamentation which can steal

your joy in life and make you sad

 Enhance the miseries you feel

 

If you are wise you stop your ears

refuse to give in to your fears.

 

 If you do not you will go mad.

 

The lost souls carried on the wind

 

Are seeking victims constantly

 to join their ghastly company.

 

 To share in their unhappiness

and they can find them easily

In people who cannot express.

 

Their joy in life to anyone

 but wallow in their misery.

and in the end are left alone.

 A self fulfilling prophecy.

 

1-Aug-08

 

Http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[Ani Ashford]

Ahhhh I was relating oh so much to this poem.... because there is a certain person who, for a while, would call and whine to me about her life. All through your poem I was thinking about her and how sad it is... and yet I am so glad that I do not always pick up the phone to listen. Not because I am fearful, but because she doesn't want a solution... she creates a form of death. Your words so express this whole phenomenon. It is a blessing to learn boundaries to allow one not to be the victim in this dance of no winning. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. Thanks for your beautifully crafted words.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I tend to worry too much and am seldom happy but i know it from life's circumstance. You are such a wonderful poet. Nicely written poem Ivor. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[alternative_be]

Well, after reading this poem, I am glad we no longer have telephone poles and the threads ...
As a counselor, I sometimes come across people who seem to leave me with no energy at all, regardless what their problems are. Some are able to snap out of them, some will never snap out of their behaviour. At the other hand, some people seem to manage to stay in a good mood, regardless whatever happens to them.
You have captured this phenomena very well!
I love the comparison with the whining threads of the telephone poles!

[Bonnie]

I sense the truth and sadness is this poem.

I did not feel comfortable when reading it, and yet something within says to pay attention to the message. I've experienced the drain of being around people who are always unhappy and seem to want to bring others down into their misery.

You say this is an 'experimental form' and since I'm not familiar with the many forms of poetry I'll leave comments about the form of the poem to others.

My review is about the content and my emotions when reading it.