Grand mama for m'lady Satine

double petrarchan sonnet in iambic tetrameter

 

Grandmama

 

She sits and rocks contentedly.

She’s grateful for the evening breeze

which is perfumed by lilac trees

and cools the air considerably.

 A picture of serenity

a comforter across her knees.

As she recalls fond memories

from long ago with clarity.

What day it is she does not know

her short term memory is gone

 She sits and rocks quite happily

 and watches as the sun sinks low.

She understands when day is done

 but little else apparently.

 

She’s cared for by her family.

Who make sure she is comfortable

She is no longer capable

 of living independently..
No longer as she used to be.

A sight that makes them sad to see

as she regresses mentally.

Though they are glad she does not know.

Appears to suffer no distress

quite happy in her mindlessness.

They think perhaps its better so.

 

10-Aug-08

 

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[Bonnie]

What a tribute to a woman who has lived and reached an age when she can simply enjoy serenity.

I love the lines:

She sits and rocks quite happily
and watches as the sun sinks low.

[Satine]

Oh how lovely this double Petrarchan Sonnet (Italian Sonnet) in Iambic Tetrameter! I have played with this form in the past and have always found it difficult to accomplish well, preferring perhaps out of a lack of talent or a fear of structure to write mainly in free verse. But this piece I love and the rhyme pattern of abbaabba is not only intact but wonderfully rendered times two! This is a gem and as I suspect so are you...


Satine

[a]

Sadly, I can't feel emotional expressiveness, this poem needs more personality and feeling, that says - we care for her, she's special, we feel empathy. This poem could speak louder, it asks for powerful, silent drama, that is hidden within, but can't show yet.