Samhain

narrative verse

 

 

 

Samhain

 

The veils grow thin on all souls eve

and vengeful ghosts are free to leave.

 The kingdom of eternal night

 to seek revenge and vent their spite.

 

On erst while relatives and friends,

 Who have not tried to make amends.

Insults offered before they died

 long brooded on and magnified.

 

Although you may not be aware

you were the cause if their despair.

 To them it makes no difference

 because they chose to take offence. 

 

At something which you did or said.

For this night only they can tread

 amongst the living once again

They are intent on casing pain.

 

 

Some call it superstition.

Not me I keep an open mind

It is an old tradition

although it is not well defined,

 

Though when the veils are torn aside

to let the vengeful spirits through

 I much prefer to stay inside,

 It seems the wisest thing to do

 

I am afraid that’s why I hide

 behind stout walls which can protect

and keep the wrathful ghosts outside

That way  I show them some respect.

 

10-Oct-08

 

Http:// Blog.myspace.com/poetic piers

Reviews

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The title of this one caught my attention first, so here it goes. I like this one a lot, I like the flow and rhythm of the words, and you create great rhymes. And I think you set the narrative story telling well.

I noticed a few spelling errors, nothing big. Stanza three, line two, you wrote 'if' when I think you meant 'of.' Stanza four, line four, you wrote 'casing' which should be 'causing.'

I'm curious as to the structuring of the poem. The first half you seem to write in pairs of couplets with the first and second lines rhyming, and the third and fourth rhyming. But you seemed to change up in the last half and made lines one and three rhyme, and two and four rhyme. There's nothing wrong with that, I think... but I'm curious to know why you did that. Is it to create a different effect with the words?

Overall, a very good, well-paced poem!

[Mr. Misanthrope]

A poem with a little comedy in it, if anything. This would make a great picture, or even rhyme, with ghosts floating about everywhere, each one different to the last. Reminded me a lot of an Eva Ibbotson book. We all know what fun her stories are.

Samhain is wonderful. Lol. Both the poem and the occasion.

Luke:P