even more Ogdenashicals

poetic idiocy

 

 Yet more Ogdenashicals

 

A prickly hedgehog’s what I am,

I think my fathers name was Sam,

My momma said he wouldn’t stay

A travelling man went on his way.

I guess he didn’t give damn.

 

 

The crocodile with toothy smile

say’s do come in and swim a while.

Some unsuspecting children do

not too many but a few.

Enough to keep him fed in style.

 

 

Orville the ostrich did not understand

he could be seen when his head was buried in the sand.

 

His mother had told him that’s what he should do and he still believed that it was true,

I think his mother was underhand.

 

Fishes swim and most birds fly

have you ever wondered why.

If fishes flew then it could be

that little birds swim in the sea

It makes laugh hysterically..

 

Some lady birds have a few spots

and other ones have lots and lots

When they have measles do they know

and stay at home till their spots go

and pass the time by joining dots.

 

Hortense the Hornbill caught a chill

which made her really rather ill.

The doctor prescribed penicillin

and Hortense was very willin

until he presented her with the bill.

 

Boa constrictors like to squeeze

their victims hard until they wheeze

Then quickly they unhinge their jaws

and swallow them without a pause.

Try to avoid them if you please.

 

I know a silly anecdote

about a Hairy Billy goat

who butts his head against brick walls

and says it doesn’t hurt at all.

These are his own words that I quote.

 

The sloth is not as lazy as you think

although it takes him half a day to wink.

He sees no need to be very quick

‘cos rushing makes him travel sick

and that creates a dreadful stink.

 

I used to have a pet Iguana

I fed on eggs and roast banana

I think it disagreed with him

his tail fell off his eyes grew dim.

I do not now keep foreign fauna.

 

I yoked my oxen to the plough

I rather wish I hadn’t now.

He went on strike refused to budge

He would not take a single trudge

and to my will refused to bow,

 

I had a shire horse name of Dapple

I gave to him each day an apple

but then one day I forgot

Which Dapple did not like a lot

and so he kicked me near the chapel.

 

Roland the rat excelled on the flute

you could tell where he was by the root a toot toot.

his cousin Gerbil played the cello.

Their music really was quite mellow.

The audience found them rather cute.

 

Albert the aged Albatross

found that his life style made him cross

He could not rest upon the ground

but had to fly round and round.

No one but Albert gave a toss.

 

The bold bad bull the Matador

Fought in the Bull Ring is no more.

To entertain the crowds he died

Was this a form of suicide

or murder in the Corrida.

 

A wise old songbird is the thrush.

He takes his time and dose not rush

but sings his song so sweet and true.

As thrushes are supposed to do

while he sits on a holly bush.

 

Chimpanzees have hairy knees

and long strong arms to reach the trees

Where the can swing amongst the boughs

and as every monkey knows.

They are real good for catching fleas.

 

Go to thou sluggard said the snail.

As busily he laid a trail

of shining silver slime behind

which makes very easy to find.

Just use your eyes you cannot fail.

 

Domestic cats have the last laugh

they treat all humans as their staff.

Whose only purpose is to feed

them and cater to their every need.

Here endeth this short paragraph.

 

A mouse, which is infested by lice

Has cause to grouse It isn’t nice

To itch and scratch without surcease

and never know a moment’s peace.

D>D>T would shift then in a trice.

 

A bat is not as blind as is supposed to be

they retain their seeing ability.

But use sonar to fly around

Simply because they have found

the picture’s better quality.

 

The lion king pride of the pride.

A shameful secret has to hide

the lionesses rule the roost

It would be such an ego boost

if this sad truth could be denied.

 

The magpie in his livery

is very very smart to see

but he has disgusting habits.

His favourite food is long dead rabbits

which he enjoys enthusiastically.

 

The leopard cannot change her spots

although she’d like to lots and lots.

She is quite sure that she would be

A great deal prettier to see

If she was wearing crimson culottes.

 

The donkey with his long sad face

is not at all endowed with grace

He rocks and sways from side to side

His gait is most undignified

but still he gets from place to place.

 

Kangaroos when they leap and bound

can cover quite a lot of ground.

They move at an amazing speed

Try catching one, you wont succeed

That’s why they are a wide spread breed.

 

I have seen penguins in the zoo

and noticed that all but a few

of them are black and white

and all of them sleep through the night.

I guess that is what penguins do.

 

Hyaenas laugh when they are sad

which is quite often I am glad

They feast upon what others leave

a dirty habit I believe.

Jackals I hear are just as bad.

 

The Shrike A.K.A the butcherbird

has a strange larder so I’ve heard.

It must be very odd to see

his victims spiked on a thorn tree

but this is true I pledge my word..

 

Odd animals are porcupines.

Their backs are covered in sharp spines

Which they can actually shoot at you

those most do not, some still do

My love for them this undermines.

 

Termites build tall homes of clay

which can grow higher by the day.
I do not feel that this wrong

as long as they stay where they belong

They don’t offend in any way.

 

The butterfly with painted wings

is jealous of the bee that stings.

She always feels that providence

has left her quite without defence

she says with tears in her eyes.

 

The honey badger or the Ratel

Has not been known to fight a battle

They get along so peaceably

although they don’t seek company

but live alone unlike most cattle.

 

The shy and subtle stump tailed skink

all live in Africa I think

Their habitat sub tropical

I find them rather comical

they do not walk but rather slink.

 

The dog they say is mans best friend

They may not be but they pretend

To listen to us when we talk

and gladly join us for a walk.

Three times a day they recommend.

 

The Wolverines no friend of mine

of friendliness he shows no sign.

He kills with wanton cruelty

and that does not appeal to me.

He is not natures best design.

 

The ground hog has a national day.

He’s only vermin people say

But as he’s done no harm to me

I will simply let him be

To live his life in his own way.

 

 

A kindly chap the Kinkajou

who means no harm at all to you.

He spend his time high in the trees

Where he can find his food with ease.

As you would do if you were a kinkajou.

 

Echidna the spiny anteater

Can run as fast as the Cheetah

but as he mainly dines on ants

which fulfil all his wants

he does not need to be a world beater.

 

The Toad I find to be quite ugly

but to another toad he might be

the epitome of handsomeness

it is all down to taste I guess

He may not like the look of me.

 

The frog who closely hidden lies

uses guile to catch fat flies

he waits until they come long

and very quickly shoots out his tongue

and catches the flies by surprise.