happy heretic

petrarchan sonnet in tetrameter

 

 

 

Happy Heretic

 

The seven deadly sins must be.

Reserved for Cardinals and such

 who are completely out of touch

with everyday reality

 For they believe apparently.

That greed is asking far too much

 but gluttony can be a crutch

for those who live in misery

 

And seeming sloth could be M.E.

Rendered blind by their own pride ,

They raise their voice in righteous wrath.

I think perhaps they envy me

because I do not have to hide

 my sins. I’m free to choose my path.

 

18-Oct-08

 

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[Althea Tremaine]

Ignoring punctuation, this poem flows very, very well. I loved what you had to say, and I must admit your title completely seduced me into reading further. Great job.

[Emily Rose]

I really liked what you did with this, but your punctuation kind of confused me a little. I really liked the "the seven deadly sins must be" line and its unexpected continuation, but I would recommend taking away the period after "be" since "reserved for Cardnials... apparently" isn't its own sentence. I also think the period after "apparently" should be changed to a comma, since the preceding lines don't form their own sentence either. The lines work very well together and your line breaks make the poem interesting since they keep the reader guessing, but the punctuation should be cleaned up a little to let the poem function better as a whole, rather than just as a collection of lines. Good job!