First Love

Poem in rhyming couplets

First Love

I can forgive but not forget.
Your actions which my life upset.

For you betrayed my trust in you
Something I thought you would not do.

To your our love was just a game.
You knew I did not feel the same.

You played your game and the you left
you left me lonely and bereft.

I bared my heart and soul to you
but you left me for someone new.

One day I'm sure that you will find
you are the one that's left behind.

When that day comes then you will learn
the pain of heartbreak in your turn.

Although I have forgiven you
I wish I had forgotten too.

I still recall you vividly
and curse my long term memory.

7-Jan-09

http:// blog.myspace.com.Poeticpiers

Reviews

[Rain]

Everyone remembers their first love. Very few marry them, it's almost a certain heart break. But, it always makes for a good poem years,later. lol Rain..

[Floornine]

This was a little too pragmatic for me. I feel like it should a little looser and more fluent in order to really let your emotions through. I think that could just be me or it might be that it's an open would that you find it hard to talk about, but I'd live for you to be really fearless, not worry about your format or words and just let it out.

[Syke]

"To your our love was just a game. " should read "To YOU our love was just a game." ; "You played your game and the you left" should probably read "You played your game and then you left," ; "I bared my heart and soul to you" should end with a comma since the next line begins "But..." ; "you are the one that's left behind." I don't know why, but I think that line would sound better with twas instead of that's, kinda silly, but it just seems to fit, just an opinion of course; otherwise a great poem, my only other recommendation would be commas at the end of the lines without other forms of punctuation because several of them would look better with it (I only included the one that was not proper without one) and it's well....traditional. As always, an amazing poem!