Maturely considered opinion.

sonnet variant

 

 

 

Maturely considered opinion.

 

Approaching his centenary.

The old man did not seem to be

 at all concerned apparently.

About the fact that he was old.

Still a player in life’s game

He took each day just as it came

 and treated every day the same.

He did not feel that he was old.

Though he had reached a ripe old age

Much greater then the average

He did not see that he should rage

against the fact that he was old

He saw no reason to complain

 he’d rather not be young again.

 

07/07/2009

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[lovelyricalpoetry]

Nice poem...I enjoyed the wonderful flow to your words. I knew an "almost centenarian" too. He was wisdom and knowledge personified! Good job.

Anna

[Raef C. Boylan]

Hi.

I have no problem with poetry that doesn't capitalise all lines, or even with no capitals in it whatsoever.
As I pointed out, two of your lines should have lowercase letters at the start rather than uppercase, to be consistent with the rest of the poem, as you've used this technique to indicate sentences.
It's not essential; if you want to capitalise at random that's up to you of course.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I like what you've done with rhyme here; it added an upbeat tone to the subject. I agree with the reviewer below who says it is both playful and wise.

Two bits of critique:
- the poem is a bit inconsistent in starting lines with upper and lowercase:
"He took each day just as it came" [he?]
"Much greater then the average" [much?]

"Much greater then the average" [should there be a full stop at the end here?]

& one suggestion:
the final line could be separated from the line before it, either by leaving a blank line or through punctuation:

e.g.
"He saw no reason to complain;
he'd rather not be young again."
or
"He saw no reason to complain -
he'd rather not be young again."

Overall, a pleasant read. Thanks for sharing it.

[Natalie C]

Not bad at all, the piece as a whole seemed to flow quite effortlessly and was quite a refreshing read for myself specially because it had such a playful yet wise tone to it!

Well done!