Surface Show

Sonnet

 

Surface show.

 

Mayhap my lady teaseth me

When she derides the way I dress.

She mocketh me for soberness

But I forgive her readily

In all else though she pleaseth me.

She knows right well I must impress

 my masters with my worthiness

That’s why I dress so soberly.

 Though she can flaunt her finery

As well befits a pretty maid

But I alas must remain staid

When we are in society.

 

But when we are alone she knows

That I can act quite differently.

When I can don much brighter clothes

Which she approves apparently.

I am a peacock in disguise

which to my lady’s no surprise.

 

Sunday, 17 January 2010

 http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[Alessander]

You have gotten much better at meter, and even tho (yes, american efficiency lol) you use archaic words, there is obvious mastery, now, in your rythmn. Sonnets are traditionallly iambic pentameter, but of course, that's the Shakesperain Sonnet, not the Italian, which this is more close to, at least in rhyme scheme, tho not in syllables. You even pull off the dreaded - dum dum at the end, which Keats complained about ( the ending couplet), yet still managed to tell a story within the structure.


Next mission: stick to the sonnet without fillers or archaic words lol

Cheers.