Spring Song

 

Spring song.

 

Kushih style format.

 

The winter snow’s receding now

Though icicles still decorate

 below the overhanging eaves.

Quite soon it will be time to plough

 the fruitful earth and then to sow.

The seeds which we have safely stored

 throughout  the long dark winter days

When skeins of geese fly overhead.

Then I will know spring has returned.

The winter is a time of rest.

Spring is the season I love best

It tells me that I should be

 about my ploughing busily

I know my oxen will complain

because they have to work again.

I walk behind them and I sing

a merry tune to welcome spring

From somewhere near a bird replies

 a fresh ploughed field is paradise.

To hungry birds which have survived

  until the welcome spring arrived.

 

Friday, 05 February 2010

http:// blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers

Reviews

[Ahmad Alhour]

What a lovely piece inspired by spring! It's very imaginative and inspiring... I'm already having some thoughts for a poem ;)
Very astonishing mate.

[Tate Morgan]

I would welcome spring about now.I wonder about the word Plough Is it possible to be spelled Plow ? But like my predecessor Mark Twain I say I have no use for a man who can only spell a word one way.And like Twain I feel I am not an American .I am the American Lol

[Alessander]

Nice poem. It really reminded me of Robert Frost in tone, content and style. A traditional "nature" landscape, like one of those paintings of rustic farms with a lone small figure ploughing in the distance. I must admit, I'm not familiar with Kushih style format, but recognized that 8 lines down, you switched to couplets...is that part of the format? It's different, and quickens the poem, which began a bit more slowly... I would also do a small change in "it tells me that I must be" to "It tells me I must be" - just rhythm-wise (tho perhaps not gramatic-wise) - or change to a purer iambic tetrameter like the rest of the poem? (tho the shorter variation emphasizes the line).

Good Work.