Comatose Breathing

My experience of blacking out once.

If you’re like me, the bottomless dark is the most exhilarating collapse you will ever take in your life.  It is also mysteriously nullifying, any nervous thoughts or feelings of affliction is suddenly vanquished by the rapid drop in your blood level. It’s like sinking into a void in your mind that you didn't know existed, a fracture in your awareness. Everything will fall into a haze, a second that expands into eternity. A dreamless dark lightly showered with memories and events that maybe really did happen once. I smell your deodorant and I catch your face as soon as it escapes from me. The reflection of something so bittersweet doesn't sting me for the first time. My mind is senseless to emotion just like my comatose breathing… I don’t even know if I’m breathing. I don’t even know what my name is. 

Slowly, I resurface to consciousness. I anticipate for feeling to sink back into my body, but I don’t want it too. My mind is cluttered with perplexity, but at the same time it’s lucid like glass. This conviction of being alive only lasts for a few moments as thoughts of you began to fog up all clarity. My face is pressed against the carpet, eyes watering from the pain of the preceding fall, my skin lightly kissed by cool air from the swift spinning fan. I lay here for awhile because I’m suddenly too lethargic and ex-animate to even think about moving. I concentrate on the change in my temperature, my body recovering; I can hear the blood pounding in my head. It’s loud, but not loud enough to drown out the little voice that always takes me back to a place that I want to belong in but never will. I don’t want to think about you anymore, but I cannot run from what’s living inside of me.

Reviews

[Atthis Rose]

When I see your large brown innocent eyes in that angelic face and read the depth of these life altering experiences. I am forced to ask myself. Is she putting us on? Is she really old and experienced enough to have lived through what appears very biographical events? Just who are you ?

[popourii]

I am in no way putting you on. Many of my pieces are confessional and draw from very real things I've gone through. Whether you buy it or not is up to you but when the piece stands alone apart from the writer...whether or not there is a relationship between the two is really not that important in my opinion. I hope you enjoyed reading nonetheless.

[Atthis Rose]

I really enjoyed reading nonetheless

[popourii]

Thanks :)

[Olivia]

You really brought your experience to life it was very visual, great job :)

[Simon Welsh]

Awhhh :/ I feel this... sucks huh? Perfect writing though.

[Divyanshu Kachhap]

Good story !

[popourii]

Thank you!

[Rachael]

Wow! I could feel this oozing with emotions! It was intense to, great job! I lived it!

[Rachael]

*Loved

[popourii]

Thank you very much :)