Poisoned Apples

Poisoned apples

baked in pies

covered with lies

 

Poisoned words

like sharp swords

 

Poison covered sweetly

hidden in lies so neatly

vain in lying

not worth trying

 

seeing through the thin vail of kindness

staight to the coold hearted truth

crushing,

even harder with the sweet lies behind it.

 

Author's Note

my attempt at ryming poetry. I know it's horrible. But it's true.

Reviews

[Nae Nae]

I don't think it's horrible, I very much like it...You have a word or two spelled incorrectly but nobody is perfect. I like it.

Nae-Nae...

[Sseoni]

This poem was awesome! Wonderful rhyme scheme, use of words and vocabulary, great details and descriptions! I loved it! I really liked the flow of it! I liked how you could take something so simple such as this and turn it into something amazing! Fantastic poem! :D

[SDMcCarty]

I actually found the imagery rather nice. I'm crap with poems and I will be the first to admit it, but I think you've done a rather nice job. Cold is misspelled, but it's a simple error. This poem actually reminds me of how I used to feel about apples. Now I like them, but I used to hate them.
Overall, nicely done!

[Chrystal Gallenger]

Hey it's a start! Try picking up a rhyming dictionary at a local book store. Or you can go to rhymezone.com, it's helped me loads in the past

[christy]

It is not horrid!!!! Steven u have talent!

[Natalie]

Excelent imagry :D check some of your spelling though

[Jacey]

Thats good. A simile, yes?
It shows a lot of hatred...

[Raven Wilson]

Its beautiful, it in my mind creates a picture of a sweets covered in a layer of poisonous haze. It relates alot to the nature of people.