Not Today

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh. - Thoreau

with gaunt, velour curtains drawn

abject, sulken shades rolled down

the unrelenting, swirling breeze loitered outside

beckoning to her

"come out and play"

heartbroken and hapless

black beads curled up under her pillow

playing ring around the rosary

linens damp with recollected times

and the taunting tears of what had transpired and perspired

wishing she was dead

a distant, solitary trumpet played a tortuous, twisted version of taps

with a weary groan, she rolled over and pulled the quiescent quilt up over her ungregarious head

"no, not today"

not this way

"go away"

Author's Note

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." - Thoreau

Reviews

[lightsong]

I read this two days ago, and I was amazed, well OK not so amazed because I already know your great talent, but here You spoke with the female's voice and that is the stunning for me, from a woman who was there I can say, You felt it all, wrote it all, express it all... in a way only a true sensitive soul would do, each line is sheer brilliance, nothing is written aimlessly, if You pulled and swelled our hearts with the depths of emotions felt in the verses, what's more outstanding to me is your ending, it shows not the giving up to depressions NO it shows the letting it be... she needs to live it, feel it, take the time and spend it all in her bed... then she will come up again, so yes, not today, nor yesterday, not even tomorrow...

[Pete]

you really got it all but you zeroed in on the most important thing - emotional pain and the grieving process. darkness and shutting off for a bit can be a comfort and the pause that refreshes in a twisted sense. thank you lightsong for "getting it". only someone who's been there truly would ... :)

[lightsong]

"refreshes in a weird sense" You said it better than I ever could, exactly how sometimes being sick gives deep warming emotions...

[lightsong]

weird sense, twisted sense... or any other word dear Pete it doesn't matter, I got your meaning fully. Thank You :)

[John the Baptist]

Mr. T's quote here seems quite pertinent for this piece. Someone is having a bad day, apparently the residue of a bad night. What had "transpired and perspired" must have had a very unpleasant ending. If the trumpet is playing taps, she has been in this state all day and night. She might consider ditching the bugger.

[Pete]

thoreau was quite wise. that's always an option but like moth's to flames we tend to be gluttons for punishment. feelings and emotions oftentimes overrule logic and reason. letting go can be so difficult and painful ... :)

[andrew mitchell]

Oh come on Pete you said today! ;) nice writing Pete an atmosphere of sadness and regret indeed, great imagery, powerful lines and tones. I liked the photo too. There is something very elegant about the contours of a ladies naked back half covered, excellent.

[Pete]

"today" depends on when i wrote it and when you read it. true that - the contours of a woman can be very alluring ... :)