I Think I'm Going Insane

There is considerable danger that a man will be crazy between dinner and supper; but it will not directly answer any good purpose that I know of, and it is just as easy to be sane. - Thoreau

wait

wait

wait

set me straight

twitch and stare

lose more hair

same thing

every day

every night

same story

same white-knuckled plight

this, that and the other

help me my dear brother

over and over

time and again

under electric fences

past barbed wire

through mine fields

across kill zones

dogs, sirens and spotlights

intimacy is reduced to a commodity in these parts

emotional bullets scrape the darkness

the bloody tourniquet is tight

my sweat is sweating

something's not right

nobody's home and someone's turned off the veranda light

my mind travels to treacherous places

places it has no business going

things it has no business knowing

spent sperm of my essence dribbling down my tattered and torn pant leg

i ain't getting any and i ain't getting any younger

i'd beat my head against the wall but the wall is knocked down

scattered everywhere are the bricks of acute pain and the water stains of drenching rain

i'm always running from the blitzkrieg as victory i feign

faith ain't for sissies

the cigarette is down to the filter

i can't find my other ear

patience and reason are bound and gagged in the trunk and madness is driving in the wrong lane

quick, someone get more duct tape

help me to secure what's left of my brain

i think i'm going insane

Author's Note

"If it is the result of a pure love, there can be nothing sensual in marriage. Chastity is something positive, not negative. It is the virtue of the married especially. All lusts or base pleasures must give place to loftier delights. They who meet as superior beings cannot perform the deeds of inferior ones." - Thoreau

Reviews

[LJW]

If I was sane I'd look at a tree and see just a tree, not as a metaphor for being grounded and not as a majestic breathing communicating being that whispers in the wind that knows way more than I do.

This could be written specifically by a veteran of war. But it's definitely written by someone that has experienced life, especially life inside their mind, as being a war. And indeed, it is. We all run the gauntlet every day of our lives. The battle in my mind is the hardest to fight because I am my opponent(s) also and I will never win.

[Pete]

problem is i think too much. i'm my own worst enemy. like thoreau, i wanted to suck out all the marrow of life not realizing that it can hurt being so close to the bone. nothing cooler than when others get your ramblings. thanks so much for sharing astute thoughts ... :)

[LJW]

Yin Yan

We are are own hero.
We are our worst enemy.

I've never known a writer who wasn't tortured/ inspired by their own mind.
Again, the yin yang.

[barleygirl]

Some of your most snappy rhyme & rhythm. Love how you do that without restricting your line length, using short bits for emphasis & still accomplishing your rhythmic flow.

I almost had an orgasm:
"emotional bullets scrape the darkness
the bloody tourniquet is tight
my sweat is sweating
something's not right"

But there's tons more satiation where that came from *wink! wink!*
Happy Thanksgiving to you & your loved ones (((HUGS)))

[Pete]

lol. you crack me up. i guess you've got your own cream for the pumpkin pie. as i always say - you can't make this stuff up - real thoughts and feelings that i wrestle with. happy thanksgiving to you and your's too ... :)

[R.J Calzonetti]

Insanity isn't always a bad thing, it leads to creativity in some of the best artists, painters, musicians, and poets. As long as you can stand it at least.

[Pete]

so true. van gogh, kurt cobaine, ernest hemingway and f. scott fitzgerald immediately come to mind ... :)

[R.J Calzonetti]

But I feel that, mental health is tough to keep well. I know from experience with depression and psychosis. Hope you keep well. Using these emotions as a force of creativity really puts it to work for me, and helps me feel better. Hopefully you keep writing, love to read what you have to say.

[Cherrie]

I can hear Vincent Price narrating very powerful.

[Pete]

i forgot about vincent with that creepy, eerie voice and that laugh he has. thanks so much cherrie ... :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Wow this piece is dark and visceral. One that leaves this reader stunned at its climax...literally. And I loved it because of its raw truthful emotion. Excellent work Pete. I love reading ambitious art and this is truly as bold as it gets.

[Pete]

thank you for taking the train ride carlos. best wishes ... :)