Mama Said (Like A Good Boy Should)

If you are a seer, whenever you meet a man you will see all that he owns, ay, and much that he pretends to disown, behind him. - Thoreau

mama said to stand like jesus stood

always clean your plate

pick up your doggie's doo

don't cheat or lie

when shaking hands always like folks in the eye

don't cuss

don't litter

go to church and say your prayers

work hard and do good

mama showed me how to cheat on my taxes if i would

how to extend my middle finger upwards in traffic

text while driving

park in restricted spaces

how to open condom wrappers while your hands are trembling with anticipation

how to get more for less

and how to confess

like a good boy should

Author's Note

"As for conforming outwardly, and living your own life inwardly, I do not think much of that. Let not your right hand know what your left hand does in that line of business. It will prove a failure ... It is a greater strain than any soul can long endure. When you get God to pulling one way, and the devil the other, each having his feet well braced, --to say nothing of the conscience sawing transversely, -- almost any timber will give way." - Thoreau