Posturepedic (This One Is Too Soft ...)

Not only must we be good, but we must also be good for something. - Thoreau

they don't take mattresses with the garbage anymore

they man said that i have to take it to the dump and pay $40

so i waited until it was dark,

tied it to the roof of my car

and drove down to a secluded area

i untied it and left it on the bank of the river

i'll sleep well on my new mattress knowing that i finally got rid of that old,

stained, lumpy one with the springs poking through it

and it didn't cost me a penny

besides, maybe some homeless drug addict can use it

i'm a good person, always thinking of others

i love myself and god loves me

i can't wait to go to church or the coffee shop

and hear people talking about the mattress that some a*****e left down by the river

excuse me jim, "what hymn number did they say that was?"

sorry to bother you anne, "could i get extra sugar in that coffee?"

hey steve, "do you know what time tomorrow's conservation commission meeting is?"

ah, life is good, now i can finally order those new sneakers on amazon that i need with that $40 that i saved

i might even wear them to that homelessness fundraiser next week

Author's Note

“What good I do, in the common sense of that word, must be aside from my main path, and for the most part wholly unintended. Men say, practically, Begin where you are and such as you are, without aiming mainly to become of more worth, and with kindness aforethought go about doing good. If I were to preach at all in this strain, I should say rather, Set about being good.” - Thoreau