When My Number Is Called (Cold Cuts on My Grocery List Again)

standing at the deli

knowing for sure what i want,  how much and how i want it sliced

i rejoice when my number is called

if german,

would i have gone along to get along

or would i have had the courage to say, "no"?

if jew,

would i have clung to god 'til the end

or would i have cursed him

i'd like to think that i unequivocally know

but the truth is i can't be sure

you had to be there, standing on either side of a door

polished and combed or striped and bald

and that's what scares me most

when my number is called