Sea Stories Part One

True tales about my experiences in the US Navy

Do you know the difference between a fairy tale and a sea story? A fairy tale begins with “once upon a time”, but a sea story always begins with, “Now, this ain’t no s**t”. And so for the entirety of my twenty years in the US Navy, every tale would begin that way.. 

Now lend me your ears as I continue the time-honored tradition by telling tales that I personally was witness to, and carry the certification, “Now, this ain’t no s**t.”

The first ship I was on, the USS Saratoga (CVA-60) was home ported at Mayport, Florida. The  hangar doors between bays one and two were adorned with huge paintings of fighting c***s�"one on each door. When the doors were closed, it appeared the c***s were fighting, thus depicting the ship’s nickname, the “fighting c**k”. Well, wouldn’t you know that sailors would often refer to the ship as the “fighting c**k-sucker”. Other colorful names were “sucking sixty from dixie” and “Saratosis”. 

The food on the ship was some of the worst I ever encountered. One day as I sat contemplating my tray of green roast beef, instant mashed potatoes and wilted spring salad, I said to a guy next to me, “This sure ain’t like mama made, is it?” His reply was, “Oh, I don’t know… my mother can’t cook this good.” Poor guy. He must’ve had it rough growing up.

That ship always seemed to be on fire somewhere. Not big fires, but sufficient for them to call away the fire party. Once, as we were returning to Mayport, I was “manning the rail”, along with about 100 others. (A ceremonial thing we did, dressed in our dress uniforms, standing at parade rest, and forming a line along the flight deck.) The crowd of wives were on the pier, just feet away, when the ship’s PA blasted, “Fire! Fire! Fire in compartment such and such! Now away the at sea fire party!” (Technically, we were still at sea) A large portion of those who manned the rail were on the fire party, and started looking around to see if anyone was going to fall out and run to the fire. One, then two, then twenty-five fell out of formation and ran to fight the fire. It wasn’t a good look. 

Every morning at 0600, reveille would sound through the ship’s PA system. (1MC) First would come the bugle call, followed by the words, “Reveille! Now, reveille! All hands, heave out and trice up! The smoking lamp is lit in all designated spaces. The fantail is open for the dumping of all sinkable and non burnable trash and garbage. Now, reveille!” Well, one morning, we heard the bugle call followed by “Reveille! Now, reveille! All hands, get your asses up!” I’ve always wondered what happened to that guy on the microphone. We all laughed aloud, but I imagine the Captain didn’t care for it.

Then there was the time we nearly sank while sitting at anchor in Athens bay, but I’ll not go into details. The Saratoga’s safety record was a poor one, and I watched two aircraft sink into the sea after getting what’s called a “cold catapult”. (The catapult must be adjusted according to what aircraft it’s going to fling down the deck. A cold cat would be the result of improper adjustment or some kind of malfunction) All that said, there were a few fun moments to report, like when the Captain announced the capture of a rare “sea bat” and recommended we all go to hangar bay #1 and take a look. There in the hangar was a large cardboard box with a viewing hole in it. When one bent over and peeked through the hole to see, a sailor would “bat” you on the butt with a broom. See bat… ya get it? Some of the officers got angry when an enlisted whomped them with the broom, but the XO was nearby and told them to lighten up. Then there was the night when fluorescent plankton lit the sea all around, and it looked like something from a sci-fi movie. A breathtaking scene, it was the only time I ever witnessed such a thing.

My berthing compartment was in the forward part of the ship, and I awoke one morning to the loud sounds of creaking, groaning, and periodic “thumps”. In addition, I felt myself sink into the thin mattress, then almost float above it. When I arose, I discovered that we were in a terrible storm, but one like I had never before seen. The sky was clear blue, but the ocean was so upset, it boiled and thrashed with enormous waves all around, many of them crashing over the flight deck. (They were likely 50 feet high or more) When I went to the mess hall for breakfast, there were trays sliding off tables and spilled drinks everywhere, making the mess hall a real mess. The hatches were battened down, and it stayed that way for the rest of the day. Back at my workshop, the guys were munching saltine crackers; a supposed cure for sea sickness.

Author's Note

I hope this will interest a few.

Reviews

[Lorry]

Samuel. I remember on an episode of Q.I. they were talking about one of the Apollo crew (can't remember which one) but his life and his crews lives were saved because of that very fluorescent plankton whil trying to land a plane at night on a carrier when all his instruments were down and it was quite a rare thing to happen but he managed home by following the glow the ship had disturbed and I forgot the best bit.. they were running out of fuel too! I kinda half remember it might have been Jim Lovell but don't bet the house on that!
Your tales are always fun to read, until you put yourself in your place and think to yourself, boy am I glad I didn't sign up! 😃
I hope he got served something nicer than green roast beef that night! But deep down I think we all know he probably didn't!
😃

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I've not heard that story about Lovell, but it seems feasible. Night operations on aircraft carriers are very scary when things are going right, but to be without instruments... AAAAAHHHHH! Keep in mind that your landing field is rising and falling by several feet. That was the one and only time I saw the fluorescent plankton, and it was truly amazing.
I'm afraid there's no choice about the food on a ship. If you don't want green roast beef, you can't run down to McDonald's for a big mac.

[Lorry]

I do remember the show said the phosphorescence only happened on very rare occasions and that he was incredibly lucky that it happened that night, which is obvious as he most likely wouldn't have survived. 😃

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Hi loved it
My father was in Royal aust navy in ww2
Liked your write thanks 🙏 and for your service

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I salute your father and fellow man of the sea.

[Relic]

My father served on the U.S.S Shadwell. He never told me stories of his short time on board. I only knew he was sea sick a lot. :) Interesting stories here, Sam. I'm sure the sea can be a beautiful place, and an unforgiving one as well. I'm also sure the guys you served with will never be forgotten to.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I think most everyone who serves will remember the guys they served with. And yes, the sea will make lasting impressions with it's beauty, mystery, and awsome power.

[mehwish]

wow never expected the army to be like this

[SweetNutmeg]

I thoroughly enjoyed this! Haha, so many gems of humor! I don't understand some of the nicknames, but I think it best you leave that to my imagination. Something disreputable, no doubt, lol. OK, now 'Heave out' obviously means get up, but what does 'Trice up' mean? Sounds British.

I'd like to hear more about the cold catapult and the fluorescent plankton. And more fun stories like the sea bat. Thanks for posting this for us.

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank you. I imagine "trice up" did come from the British, but have never researched it. I did this one fast, so I might go back to add more as I think of things.