Creature from the Pit of Despair

It's indescribably evil

 

There’s evil in the kitchen, void of heart and soul

Waiting for me there, it makes my blood run cold

I’ve slain it many times, with bare and trembling hands

But when I walk away, it rises up again

Who will face this beast and make it go away?

No one else but me, I must sadly say

Others are too fearful to raise their swords, it seems

And hide beneath their beds while muffling a scream

Do they think I sleep so very well at night?

Dreaming of the villain that daily, I must fight?

This food-encrusted monster, no longer will I face

For starting on the morrow, we’ll eat on paper plates

Author's Note

My wife almost never does the dishes.

Years later... Okay, she's doing much better now. I think her therapist told her it was the right thing to do, especially since I'm the cook.

Reviews

[roarke]

I don't get it..............hahahaahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahaaaaaaa

that's why our early ancestors just threw everything into one big heap outside and buried it. Makes for good archeology when ya can't dig up a dino bone....

just make a raw onion and cheese sammich, then there's no clean up


oh...btw.... nice poem... fun stuff.

[James Paulin]

Your awareness of extraordinary in the everyday is a gift. It reminds me of Edgar Guest, one of my favorites.

[holly]

What a hoot! Thanks, Sam...here at Reinecke central we have a saying "Them that cooks don't clean". However, sometimes it's no more than a saying. Fun stuff.

This is so cute, I absolutely love it. I am so tempted to write it on my refrigerator, my partner and I always argue about the dishes. And sadly I am the one who rolls up the sleeves and gets to work.
I must say that they title works very well with the piece as well, I was expecting something completely different but am delightfully surprised by what I found.

[Ishan Sadwelkar]

Very well written. I loved the ending. There was a hint of sarcasm throughout the poem.
I feel such poems highlight daily as well as life experiences.
Nice job!

[Mary Collins]

I do the dishes...but never the cooking. Not that I like doing the dishes, but I don't like crusties in the sink either! Love the poem. Made me laugh before I head out for the day.

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Oh, my gosh, I peed my pants; you are crazy! I agree with another reviewer that this should be on a refrigerator magnet; I would, certainly, buy it. What can I say, but your poem will be well read in all of the circles I travel in. Well written is such a tiny compliment; this poem is a gem!! I bet you couldn't stop laughing, when you were writting it; check out my poem, "The Face of a Clock." Give us more light and lovely poems!!!

[Sydelle Houston]

LOL, love this little rhythmic complaint Sam!

I used to hate doing dishes until I moved into a place with a dishwasher! Never had a machine do what my two hands have been doing since I was a kid. Now I just hate when I run out of dishes waiting to have enough in the machine to turn it on! I hate all household chores because of the extra work. I could mop the floor and an hour later, spill coffee on it, hence the extra work!

[LunaWolf]

HAHA AWESoMe!!! Loved it very creative =)

[Mark]

SO, tell me again why it is that you write so little poetry?? How many of these glittering gems do you have stashed away? Good rhyme, good meter, hilarious topic--all's I can say is, keep 'em comin' maestro!

[Stacey Watts]

very well and humorously written. I hate doing the dishes myself.. I am always the one stuck with doing it and it is a never ending job. I feel you on this one.