False Love

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I'm going through a hard time so I decided to write a poem about my relationship with him

I fell in love you

You told me countless times that you loved me

It felt like paradise

I believed everything you said

You told me I was beautiful

But after a while, it felt like a lie

I started to doubt everything you said

But I didn't show it 

I knew you would be upset with me

So I buried it deep within me 

I told you what you wanted to hear

I was too scared to say what I wanted to say

You started asking me sexual questions 

You knew I was asexual and what it means

But you didn't show me respect

I couldn't say a word

You wouldn't let me tell anyone about this 

I kept refusing 

You were getting disappointed in me

You gave me false love

The questions kept getting worse

I started to hate that I was asexual

I felt like I couldn't make you happy

The hatred grew and grew

Until I broke...

And those dark thoughts filled my mind

I couldn't stop the urge

I was lucky to survive

I regret taking the pills

But I still hated myself

You disliked that I am ace

You told me that you still loved me

I didn't believe your words

I knew you were lying

I finally started to say what was on my mind

I stopped telling you that I loved you

I finally told you that I wasn't happy

I'll cut you out of my life

I'll be happier without you

I will learn how to love myself 

I will accept the pain and despair you gave me

Your words won't chain me down

Happiness is what I deserve

So goodbye