I got a scar that I'm proud of

Scars.

I took a needle from my pocket

I etched a story in my skin

I took a needle from my pocket

I held it close, I made it sin

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar i can show off to my friends

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar in the shape of something beautiful

I got a scar that I made all by myself

I took a bottle from my pocket

I poured another shot of gin

I took a bottle from my pocket

I held it close, it made me sin

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar I can show off to my friends

I got a scar that I'm proud of

I got a scar in the shape of something beautiful

I got a scar that I made all by myself

I took a bullet from my pocket

I got a gun and put it in

I took a bullet from my pocket

I spun the barrel, I let it win.

Author's Note

please If you took the time to read it, please take like 4 more seconds and review it. its very helpful to me. thank you!!! (and yes, I used got instead of have on purpose, so please no grammar nazis)

Reviews

[PaleWriter]

Hey Kayleen, I liked this, I think it's really good but as a musician It feels more like a blues song with its repetitive meter feel to it. As a poem I would take out the first stanza. As a song it would usually go by letters in the way it's setup. (aaba) type of thing.

If you number each stanza--1 2 3 4 5 6 and take out the first stanza you could form it as 2 4 3 6 3. In any case, you did a reall good job on this.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem was very good. I like the movement and the story in the words. Each set of lines making the poem stronger till the sad and surprising ending. A excellent poem. You got and held my attention till the last word.
Coyote

[The Analog Kid]

I agree with Palewriter. Very bluesy. This kicks a*s!

[piggy]

hahaha

this made me laugh.
it was very funny and great to read.

well done and good writing

[Ruth]

Really amazing work love! The roulette of life! WOW! What way it turns, is it up to you? Do we cave? Do we push on, sometimes better to let life decide! Great poem love! xx

[Anicca]

This was a good read. It shows how quickly one thing, that although harmfull in its own right not that destructive, can so quickly lead to things much worse. I liked the repitition. Thanks for sharing.

[Linear]

Runs in my head like a song, I enjoyed reading it, the final stanza was a shock..

[Michael.]

This made me kinda sad. xD
I like the ironic children's book stlye rhythm its got.

[Emily Filkins]

I really loved it
just the way it was put
simple but visual
nice job

[Brianna Brie]

This poem has good repetition. It works. I like the procession of events written step by step. It helps the reader visualize the scene. Good write!