The Lonely Pine(2)

The Lonely Pine(2)

 

A lonely tree,

In a haze.

Snowflakes blowing different ways.

It sits there and wonders,

'Am I the only tree

In this winter wonder?'

Reviews

[Scarlet Pulse]

You entered two different poems with some different words, lines, etc, which I thought was interesting and a smart idea. They are both relatively short so I wanted to give some suggestions. I really liked the title. I think your first line should start “A tree”. (Because the title is the Lonely Pine, and gives us that information). I also like “In a winter haze” for the second line. Maybe you can combine” the snowflakes blowing” and “covering the tree in frost” somehow, because both are very interesting and show imagery. I like the last two lines of the first poem and I like that last three of the second poem. Maybe you can add more about the tree itself. Good start. I enjoyed them both.