To love

They tell me pain is like cold water, crisp short,
Often sweet
It always has an end
They didn’t meet you did they
They didn’t live beside it
Breathe it
Feel it
Experience a whole lifetime with it
It feels short sometimes
Yet
Than
Why
Again
And again, and again
Am I
Yes, waking up
4 am
Your name imprinted in my mind
I write it down , your middle name
In my list
It must be remembered
You must be
Something, someone
Must carry the weight of what it meant
Enough To fill a lifetime and only get a few years
The deepest pain of it all
So no
Pain is not like cold water, it is not crisp
It is not short
And it is never sweet
It haunts my life like a silent echo
That I know I will carry
I will bare
Till I am no more