feet tied

revised by a friend, written by me!! see i am giving u back your credit ;P

My feet tied down,
My heart slowly slowing…

I am miserably dying,
But I can’t stop trying.

My life suddenly gone,
All my goodness torn.

More hatred born.
I’m left lovelorn.

I am left behind,
And all the love gone.

I am dying,
But I can’t stop trying.

Reviews

[The dark story]

"I am dying,
But I can’t stop trying."...i liked these lines a lot...they are my favorite..it signifies the sheer determination you possess in spite of enduring so much...doing just what Kipling had said in his poem "If"..."and hold on when there is nothing in you...except the will which says ,"Hold on!"."...i should say the rhyming scheme is well as well and the diction are just too touching and strong in their effect...overall..it's a great ravishing write!!...keep it up!!

[Muhammad Qasim]

Thank you :) you ended up writing a longer review than the poem itself hehe anyways thanks it means a lot :)

[The dark story]

can't help myself when i read this...sorry it got too long...and your most welcome!!

[Muhammad Qasim]

no need to say sorry, i don't really mind plus it made me feel good hehe to have such a comment!! glad i could be of help :)

[Talal Hussain]

Interesting stuff Qasim :-)

[Muhammad Qasim]

Thank you :)

[Moniba]

Horrible picture Qasim ;/

[Muhammad Qasim]

Thanks

[Moniba]

What an inspiring poem... ;P

[Muhammad Qasim]

hehe!! i guess you can say that ;P

[Moniba]

I like the 2nd and 9th lines best ;p

[Muhammad Qasim]

haha!!! they aren't that good u know ;P

[Moniba]

awww :( chalo... phr puri poem nhi achi.

[Muhammad Qasim]

haha!! chalo if u say so maan leta hun ;P