you don't want me

So, who am I to you?
A girl who knows her name
And studied through
The years of school

It’s all a game I’ve learned to play

How well you glue the cracks
How long you hide the pain
Appease the claques
And train the brain

It’s fine; I’m fine; it’s all okay

And ‘neath that bright façade
A girl who’s filled with pain
A girl, a fraud
Stuck in the blame

I’m sorry; I swear; I’m sorry, please stay

You say I’m acting weak
But Mom, I’m just plain strong
When life looks bleak
I play along

Keep moving; it’s the only way

And when I showed you me
You said I was an act
Attention plea
You don’t like cracked

To Mom: the things I wish I could unsay

So, it’s not “Who am I?”
But who you want to see
You want a lie
You don’t want me

Author's Note

any comments/suggestions help!!

Reviews

[emipoemi]

O - M - Freaking - G! This started out giving off one vibe then it gave a sudden curveball into holy kwap! What emotion! What profundity! What musicality! Wow! "Attention plea" should begin with an "an" otherwise it looks like you were trying to write "please" but forgot to finish the word. This is otherwise amazingly written! Well freaking done!

[Moonie]

Your words are raw and intense, and the whole poem feels relatable too! It's emotive, and moving, with a nice musical quality to it. Good writing!

[Forevermore]

This is so relatable in several ways, the transition and flow of this piece is amazing. The emotion and profundity, as I read more of your works it just gets better and better. You are a very talented writer, and from what I've read a very strong individual :)

[Chris]

Seems you did garner a fair bit of notice and comment already! I think you found a truism... parents "see" their expectations - though most will usually eventually accept realities.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

A super poem , great lyrical tones and expressed in an effective style and way. Fine mod jaunty rocky rhyming and tune. Thumbs up.

[R.E. Ray]

Raw and intense truth in poetic form. You purely convey the frustration and pain we feel when forced to conform to others' expectations. And, when we reveal a glimpse of our original self, if not in accord with family or societal expectations, we're pushed back into that box.

The only thing I might change is the poem's title. Not certain what I'd recommend, but maybe just one or two words. I like the references to "cracks" and "glue," if that helps. Regardless, nice work. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[TheRavensWoods]

Wow, this poem was amazing! Before I cut all ties with my mother, I felt the same way constantly. I definitely feel like my mother wanted to create me into whoever she wanted me to be, not who I was. It's so nice and sad to know that someone else understands the feeling. I'm sure you expressed it in a more beautiful way than I ever could. Wonderful job.

[cocochoco]

I love this writing.
nicely done.
"Attention plea" I think that maybe 'plea' was supposed to be 'please'? correct me if I'm wrong.