Red Sea

Nature

A valley of roses appears to my eyes as I descend down the mountain

The stream flows down the side as my spirit gets higher

The pebbles each a different shade

Sun beams dance along the ground

A bird soars below the clouds

Not a sound of human life anywhere

Only the babbling brook and the wind

The wind pushes me down…down the mountain faster

I frolic into the sea of Red Roses

Author's Note

What do you feel when reading this?

Reviews

[Archia]

I feel like I'm emmersed in this beautiful place, but then the 'red sea' made me feel like there was some evil lurking beneath. But I like how it made me feel those contrasts, those two different sides.
There was this beautiful image in my mind, it was like I was walking down a mountain and seeing this 'sea of red roses,' with the birds and the sun. It was really beautiful.

[Hiddenfire]

I too got this eerie feeling from the final couple of lines but it works perfectly with the whole poem. As was also said the contrast from the opening, particularly the valley of roses in the beginning, with the close and the see of red roses there works in perfect unison of almost light and dark in my mind. On top of it the whole poem feels like a free fall from off the top of the mountain down to the base, it has a "shooting down stream" feel that only benefits from the length of the poem and the way it's broken up and phrased.

[Artiste de Mots]

That's beautiful! I can only imagine the wonderment and joy felt frolicking through that patch of roses! Plus, I love that you called it a "Red Sea" [of roses]! It helps one's mind picture the natural, flowing feel of the scene. Good job! :D