Happyness

an extremely short Tanka; definitely one of my favorite's.

Feather light and free

Freezing, breezing, lifting me

Brushing pristine sky

 

          Zenith high is breached, broken

Coming, tumbling, falling down

Reviews

[C. Rose]

Hurrah for Tankas! I've done one Tanka; it was about roses. I like that when you have a bit too much for a haiku, but you want to an eloquent and brief piece, you can do a Tanka.

I am biased towards this piece because I love falling leaves. Technically this is about a feather, but the whole thing could be applied to a falling leaf, so I am biased in its favor.

It is interesting that you somewhat shaped this poem by indenting the fourth line. Was this intentional? I've never seen a fusion of shape poetry and haiku/tanka. If you are going for shape poetry I recommend adding more contour. If the indent was an accident, then nevermind.

And why "Happyness" is the misspelling intentional? I agree a floating feather would be happy, but perhaps a title like "flight" or "free" or "falling" or something along those lines would be more relevant.