Life spark

A Poem by Rosezelene Ersa

"The shadows glow so softly now, betrayed by life's own spark."

Shining light, golden bright

A Flicker building, burning, slight

Luminesce, oh so right,

The candle glows anew.

A winter night is building here,

An island soft and stark.

The shadows glow so softly now,

Betrayed by life’s own spark.

The night is deep, so tense, so steep,

Yet in the greyness lies;

A shining, glowing, sparkling light,

Behind the tempting eyes.

A scrap, a parchment, oh so old

A pen with feathers wrought in gold

Near the hearth a candle glows

Casting lasting shadows.

© 2014 Rosezelene Ersa

My Review

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Featured Review

C. Rose

The rhythm is engaging. It makes me feel happy and secure, like snuggling up next to a fireplace and reading an old favorite.

This is different than "The Shadow Stealer" and "Heart?" in that it doesn't have what I've decided to call 'radical creativity'. What I mean is that in the first two pieces I read of yours, the metaphors were radically creative in that I doubt anyone has thought of that before.

This piece is pleasing to the ear and to the imagination, but it doesn't follow through with the radical creativity I've seen you use before. "Betrayed by life's own spark" and "Behind the temping eyes" seem to hint at something - something ominous, mysterious, dangerous - I'm not sure.

If you had a clear metaphor, I recommend adding another stanza to give more hints.

Then again, not everything needs to have radical creativity (which can come off as whimsical). It is good to be able to write both whimsically and seriously. On the other hand I feel like you were about to say something with this piece and then stopped.

On a technical note, you capitalized Flicker.