Self-Sin

Shall sin devour me, Save me from this storm.

Self-Sin

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Beneath warmth so true of heavens seen blue,

A shadow has fallen of a storm so sudden.

Clouded corruption of our own heart’s actions,

Blinding the day of light and now begins storm’s might.

Pouring down from high- the storm’s horrid cry.

Shiver under showers,

Fear lightning’s powers,

Frozen by treacherous gale,

Crushed under heavy hail,

Deafened by thunder’s scream,

Choked by mist and steam,

Drowned under muddy water,

And see my soul shatter,

In this storm I am in.

In the storm of self-sin.

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

That is profoundly true . We are the eye of our own storm . Sin rages within . Wages an all out battle . Such formidable foe we're outclass . Till the Sin Bearer shattered . At Calvary's Cross He defeated . Sins guilty sting and stains no more ...

[Tina Kline]

Wow, very impressive write here!

[Ahmad Cox]

Amazing and I love the way you made it look like a tornado.

[Ohhhwillow]

You've expressed your own thoughts and it is clear that you have worked upon entirely your own ideas, all I can say is be careful not to be sucked into rhyming, I find it can sometimes lead to sheltering what we actually mean to present because we focus on the rhyming as opposed to the flow which most expresses ourselves. All in all though this was great. :)

[luviva]

well this is a well bbuilt idea and i love the fact that you recognise that you are seeing your soul shatter in the storm of self-sin. that creates a vivid imagery of the life oof comeone lost in sin.
loved it and absolutely great write!!

[}Echo{]

This was interesting... Good write. :)