A grave mistake

I don't remember writing this.. found it among my ramblings. Enjoy

In this room I wake to find

reality has ceased my mind.

The walls appear to close me in

the air is dense and getting thin.

A mirrored chest reveals my face.

A ghastly blur confines this space.

Although I know I'm all alone,

the silence still emits a tone.

I don't recall arriving here.

The last few days seem so unclear.

A memory of muffled sorrows

and a glimpse of death abruptly followed.

Shadows cast along the wall

do not answer when I call.

Is it possible they don't hear

the shriveled voice that cries in fear?

Am I dreaming this is real?

Or a metaphor for how I feel?

A sudden thought has made me sad,

a memory of something bad.

I remember reaching for a knife

and decided I should end my life.

Was I lucid? Am I sane?

..Thinking I could end my pain.

The shadows cast along the wall

will NEVER answer when I call.

I realize now this lonely room

is nothing but a hollow tomb.

~Broken screams and muffled cries. No one hears although I try~

                       My time has come to say goodbye.

Author's Note

yup.. that about explains it i guess

Reviews

[Max Watt]

A satisfying flow and again, plenty of great imagery. I'd advise you to change the title to something that doesn't involve a pun...I mean, I love puns, but it makes the whole thing seem comical, when it has more to it than that. I'd like to find out more about what went on here. Add more images to the story, without speling it out bluntly of course, but add a few more jigsaw pieces and really make it pop. Cool stuff, and yes, very Poe esque, dark.

[Norman 223]

You've been reading too much Edgar Alan Poe. A macabre piece of writing that really creates the claustrophobic horror of incarceration.

[alifeacoustic]

When darkness surrounds us, the only reply we receive is our hearts echo, slightly felt and slightly heard, yet deafening at the same time. Love the line.....Am I dreaming this is real? Or a metaphor for how I feel?, this sums up the feeling and theme of this piece perfectly. A darkened mind isn't broken, it is a mind struggling to find answers among the man made chaos we call life. I know these feelings are personal to each, but when I feel myself falling, I refer to that as my mind being in WTF mode, as I am convinced that the darkened mind shows us the stupidity of the reality we have created for ourselves.
Again, a beautifully captured sonorous echo of the heart and mind, superb.

[Chris]

words to share a seawall with ...and a thousand yard stare.

[Lonely Scorpio Girl]

A fascinating horror filled with intensity and suspense. The end is hauntingly delicious. Love this!

[revalatia]

Thank you very much!

[Oswald Chesterfield Cob..]

Very dark, but yet so beautiful. I loved the writing style you used :) I can't wait to read more by you

[Luke Rawlings]

A brilliant piece. The structure was ordered to deliver just the right impact for the imagery you use. The continuing metaphor of the room and the shadows is very clever and makes this piece for me.

[revalatia]

thank you for that inspiring review :) glad u came across it

[Luke Rawlings]

You're welcome. Glad I inspired :P

[revalatia]

nice. ..thank you! :)

[Slug]

sick..
I found myself reading this progressively louder and faster
you can really feel the tense energy build up to the very end

[Eileenws]

Very nicely expressed. I'm glad you didn't do it and say goodbye. It would have been a grave mistake. Excellent rhyming. Thanks for sharing.