silent questions

thoughts in text

Can you see this agony

 

   a misery alive in me

In the reflection of a tear?

                    Will time suppress, great emptiness

                          

                        disperse some weightless heaviness

  

                     through a collection of the years?

                 

          Should I convey, how my mind sways

              would you stay-or walk fast away

              In the direction of what's near?

                          

                                 Who is there when peace departs

                                to fuse shattered parts of broken hearts

                            by connecting what was here?

Reviews

[Nipplegrinder]

This is rather remarkable.
I very much enjoyed this.

[revalatia]

thank you for reading it :)

[Uranus]

The formatting helped in verbalising the feelings you're expressing---it gave me an idea to improve in this area.

[Alessander]

Really like the format. It flows rather smoothly, the rhymes interlocking and interconnecting the pathos.

I like the last stanza, the idea of someone fusing parts back together again.

Good stuff

[Chase]

Im fond of this piece for several reasons.. The form, first and foremost! Ive posted so many pieces that vary in form but this site generally left aligns them..

I enjoy the AAB AAB format as well, and the fact that each stanza ends in a question, including that each question is, indeed, silent.

Keep it up.

[revalatia]

Thank you for reading my work...and I appreciate the review. :)

[Chase]

No problemo(:

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and realistic words dear Poet.
"Who is there when peace departs
to fuse shattered parts of broken hearts
by connecting what was here?"
I know the place above. I was the land and the tornado. A broken heart time and distance. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[revalatia]

Thank you for your generous review ...much appreciated :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Poet.