Week

My past few days

So I have not exactly had the greatest week every. In fact it was no even close to being good. I have been raped by my sibling for five years (yes it was reported). I was then beaten and my father was arrested for it. ( yes it was reported). I was arrested a few days ago for resisting arrest as they had thought I ran away from my foster home. In fact I was on my way home at that point. I had not been given my diabetes medicine while I was in there for three days. I was also not receiving my meds either. So I got upset and tied a blanket around my neck attempting to kill myself. So they sent me to heartland where I had been before for self harm and suicide. I was there all the way till yesterday. While I was there I tried to kill myself eight more times. For the fact I have no point to be here in life at all. I then found out when I got home that a girl I had know from Heartland before Committed suicide on May 1st she was only 16. Now her life is over. At this point I am struggling in my life. I have looked to god for many years when I lived with my parents, but did not go to church as they did not want me to be religious. I came in to foster care and started to attend your church. I have no clue what I am suppose to do. No clue where my life is suppose to go. I don't have but a few dollars and I don't spend it on myself. I have always given it away, to church, homeless people, and anyone who needed it. For I have never been in trouble. All I have ever done was protect and help everyone around me. I have never focused on myself. No I have no clue what to do. I feel as if I am falling down. I need help but don't know where from. I am drifting slowly away from life. I push everyone away for the fact that I don't want hurt and I never will if I push them away so they can not get close to me. I hate my life after trying to kill myself eight times and losing my friend to suicide you would think that I would stop. No IT DOES NOT STOP it is continuing. I want it to all go away and it won't. I don't know what to Do. I NEED HELP.

Author's Note

I am sorry for it being so depressing. I am really upset and have not had a good few weeks. I am running on thirty minutes of sleep. Thank you guys for letting me vent to you.

Reviews

[William Liston]

Hello Garber,
I had a random thought about you at school today and wondered if you had posted anything new, which is why I'm reading this right now.
I'm sorry to hear about what's been happening in your life. Though this might sound silly because I've never been through your pain before, all I can tell you is to push through. Whether things will get better or not, I can't say. It may get completely worse. Sorry to be depressing, but that's really all I have to say.
Feel free to talk to me about anything, even if it's just to rant.

- William Liston

[Rebecca Garber]

This same day i had not even been out for twenty four hours. I was at school and I tried to grab the school resource officers gun to shoot myself. they stopped me and i was sent away again. I attempted suicide multiple times why i was in there. I have been out for about six days now.

[Shy Joe]

When you hold the door open for everyone, you will never pass though yourself.

Set goals, follow through with them, and then when you're stronger you can briefly hold the door for others.

Walk through some doors. Set an example.
Thanks for sharing.

[Rebecca Garber]

Thank you for your review. I have tried before. I don't know how to work on myself.