The Dark

I feel quite trapped I must say

Just like a predator’s prey

 

Shivering and cowering in the night

I stay crouched on my toes ready for flight

 

The long grass that covers me 

Sways ever so slightly

 

It bends with the wind

As I try to stay completely stiff

 

I close my eyes, but just a little too late

And in my mind I see what I truly hate

 

I see the night ready to swallow me in its everlasting wake

Lost in the darkness I struggle to stay opaque  

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, and tell me what you think

Reviews

[Michael X]

wow, the ending and depth to the meaning pulls the reader in and the
layout captivates, the meaning has the classical poetic sense of application,
a metaphor set to a natural inspiration, this is dark and stunning

[Falling Leaf.]

Sorrowful and haunting. I simply love the last two lines. Love it.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Great job, I can feel the suspense and fear that you are building up with this piece. Nice poem:)

[Tai Ryens]

You express many deep emotions through this poem, I like it, short and simple yet deep to the core. Great job.

[Rhea752]

ummmm no I didn't opaque means lucid i said what i meant

[Redboy]

did you mean awake at the end? other than that aaawsome!

[Owlgirl]

I love it, and your use of the word "opaque"! You may want to try to fit stanza four in with the rhyme scheme because it stands out against the smooth flow of the poem. Very intruiging.

[Amila Jay]

Awesome poem :))

[Celeste]

Amazing! So little words, yet you convey so much feeling and emotion! I definitely loved how you ended this poem -- so powerful and suspenseful!