Job interviews make me feel dirty

Job interviews, experiencing life on the economic edge

Three job interviews ago when asked why I left my last job, I replied, cubicle fire. Not hired Two job interviews ago when asked what my bad point was, I said assault rifle shopaholic. Not hired. On my last interview when asked what I would change about myself, I replied that I wanted to try and not to be such a perfectionist. It was a lie and it made me feel dirty. But that’s what job interviews seem to be all about. The interviewer wants to know how good a liar you are. And I suck at it. I mean I never know if I should be turning down the BS and turning up the a*s-kissing or visa verse.  But I am even more disturbed by interviewers who assume I am applying for the job because I love their company.

 

“Why do you want to work for Soul Taker Paper Pushers, Inc?”

“It’s been my lifelong ambition, right after jet pilot. And since I’m too tall to me a jet pilot…”

The real answer: A paycheck so I can feed and house my family. In my opinion, somebody who’s been unemployed for nearly a year would make a very dedicated employee. They’ve tasted the streets and have seen the respect in their family’s eyes drain away like the cash in the savings account. Someone like that is going to work hard to get it right. But can I say that? Can I bear my soul and ask these corporations to take pity on a man on the edge? I’m thinking no.

 

Reviews

[Michael of Gilead]

Yeah....I'm there too.
Why do i want to work for your company? to make money....why is that answer not good enough?

Last interview I had, I kept my hat on to hide my hair....the kid who interviewed me asked " How long do you think you want to work? 5years? 10 years?" trying to gauge my age?

[Akash gaikwad]

Few days ago I had the same feeling I was going for an interview and thinking what can i say to get me selected but I realized at that point I am the guy who will stay honest to himself. Though what you have said that a guy who has been unemployed for half year would make a good employee. I wish I could have said that in my interview. Thank you felt connected with this writing.

[roarke]

"Soul Taker Paper Pushers Inc. heh, HR has no sense of humor... This is gold: "The real answer: A paycheck so I can feed and house my family. In my opinion, somebody who’s been unemployed for nearly a year would make a very dedicated employee. They’ve tasted the streets and have seen the respect in their family’s eyes drain away like the cash in the savings account. Someone like that is going to work hard to get it right."

And you wrapped that little gem up in well phrased humor.... ya can't do better than that. Bravo.

[Chris]

I did like "visa verse"... it said a lot at that point.

Seems there is truth in facetiousness... I would guess it's also in the eyes.

[Frieda P]

'Soul Taker Paper Pushers, Inc' I used to work for them, you're lucky you didn't get the job...and LOL. Good one...are you on wordpress by chance?

[KAOlmsted]

Oh my god...you had me laughing out loud and them *SLAM* you whacked me upside the head with those last few sentences. Absolutely brilliant job. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

-kimmer

[Richard John Davis]

We can happily ignore our certain deaths and be happy, so being happily unemployed is not so hard.

[KAOlmsted]

But look at all the time you have to write ;-)