seasons' dark promenade

comparing our own mortality to that of the year's dying songs... by dan AND dee

summer’s arrogant bluster bleeds into

reluctant submission,

falling down steps into

autumn’s soft illusion;

red, orange and yellow leaves,

like drying paint on a rusting canvas…

covering the aging year’s markings like

store-bought hair color masking

winter’s approaching gray…

drifting into pock-marked snow caves

shouting “bury the dying year…”

here in the dark

where death finds

refuge.

 

dan and dee © 2015

Music: "Shatter Me," by Lindsey Stirling feat. Lzzy Hale

Author's Note

Reviews

[.]

I'm late to this one Dan, but again another well imagined write.

I love how you describe the various "personalities" of each of the seasons as they appear and leave within a year.
Nice imagery of "burying the dying year".

Take care.

[dan]

The change of seasons is a recurring theme in several of my past writes (with "Images," the most seasonal of those). The four seasons easily lend themselves to metaphorical meaning and imagery. Thank you for your kind words. take care...dan

[Olivia]

i love the poem and the combination with the song. I like the two mediums together as one piece of powerful art

[dan]

Olivia, Thank you. I've been sick for a good while and haven't written anything since this one; I'm way backed up on read requests and it feels like I'm stuck in the mud. Reviews like yours make me feel a whole lot better. Thank you so much! take care...dan

[Olivia]

i hope you get better soon, so sorry to hear that

[dan]

Thank you...dan

[Bill Grimke-Drayton]

I love the picture you "draw" with the words you use. The poem has a rhythm and beat to it. An interesting comparison between the the cycle of the seasons and our span of life! Thank you.

[dan]

Thank YOU. It wasn't plain the way I wrote it that it was about the metaphorical relationship between the change of seasons and the aging process. Thank you so much for your astute review. take care...dan

[Amber Lily]

Love the poem and the feature song! It's a great way to describe the coming of a new year, a new change. Even though things die other things take there place and receive their own chance at greatness. A wonderful poem :)

[dan]

Amber, Thank you so much; this piece actually was launched as a metaphor between the change of seasons and the aging process. Thank you for your perceptive review! take care...dan

[Kaylee April]

This is absolutely lovely. I love the music that you put to it. It fits beautifully. I think your use of enjambment where you flow each sentence to the next line really adds to the beauty of this. I love that "bury the dying year" line the most. It's a lovely yet ominous image of autumn and winter that leaves me wanting more. I would love to read a longer version of this poem. Just a suggestion :)
Best wishes,
Kay

[dan]

Kay, Wow I am so flattered by your review. Thank you so much for mentioning 'the flow'; I don't do that intentionally, some of my writings just blossom into the coherent flow. BTW, the idea for this piece came from a conversation with my wife about the aging process. So it IS about the seasons but the undercurrent of aging metaphor swims throughout. Again, thank you for taking the time to do this lovely read/review. take care...dan

[Ruth]

A flow through nature's exhalation...beautiful! I really the tenderness expressed here...

[dan]

This piece was inspired by a conversation between myself and my wife, about the effects of aging. The talk morphed into the similarities with the change of seasons...I had to give my wife a writing credit, it was only fair. Thank you for your visit and the read/review. take care...dan

[Philip Muls]

Dan, you set the tone with a great opening : 'summer’s arrogant bluster bleeds into reluctant submission'.

This poem brings calmness and really brings to life all the great things of the 'fall' season.

Well done.

[dan]

This was actually inspired by the effects of aging, for which the change of seasons is a handy metaphor. My wife and I discussed this simile so I gave her a well deserved writing credit. Thank you so much for stopping by and the read/review. take care...dan

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

Dan. This piece warms my soul. I want to keep it in reserves for winter cold nights so I can take it out and heat myself. Beautiful and tranquil it is the season itself wrapped in words. Awesome

[dan]

Crystal, I appreciate your kind words, it actually WAS a feel of tranquility for which I was reaching. Sometimes what I reach for actually comes to pass, wow. You made my day. take care...dan

[Matt Hooper]

Loved it! I appreciate the tone in this piece. A bit transgressive, and dark. Awesome work, Dan.

[dan]

Matt, Thank you. I try so hard to incorporate music into the tone of the write; this is why I embed the music, forcing the reader to turn it of so they choose. Do some readers say "F**k this," and move on to their next read? Probably, but I like to encompass my words with my imprint of music, so wonderfully done by the pros. Just my style. take care...dan