The Girl in the Picture

This is for the contest The girl in the Picture

 

 As I looked at her I could tell that she was thinking. Thinking of him. Her ex-boyfriend, Jack.

 Sarah is my daughter. She is in high school and has only had one serious relationship. That relationship was with Jack. They broke up about 2 months ago when she caught him making out with another girl. It was extremely hard for her. Jack was her first love and he broke her heart.  They hadn’t talked since they broke up until 2 days ago on Wednesday.  He said he wanted her back and that he Loved her and couldn’t stand not being with her any longer. I told her that he would just hurt her again and she didn’t listen. They where going out tonight since it was Friday.  However he didn’t show. A guy arrived with one single white rose.  Said it was from Jack and he was sorry he couldn’t show.

Reviews

[Becca*Type2012]

I like it, but I personally don't think that it is completely finished. I don't know what it is, but I think something is missing. I do like the idea. Good write.

[Inkjinx]

You know, this could be a good story. A typical teenage story, but it could turn out nice. The fact of the matter, though, is you wrote a summary of a story rather than the story itself.

You've got to actually tell the story rather than a quick outline like this. I can understand why it's so rough because of the fact that this isn't much of a story. When you write something, remember to write out the numbers.

There's really not much to review here. I thought I'd say something, though; it's never nice to leave an entry unnoticed. Happy writing.