The Love that is lost

The Love that is lost

Too wish for love is that a crime. To hope for just a small taste so divine.

 

I am lost in a tempest of emotion that the squalls and the pain of a heart have no name.

You come to me in my dreams, the ones I dread because inside I fell dead.

 

Why does it hurt when you try to feel so much?

Why does it hurt when you don’t love the one who loves you?

 

Is there no recourse for this pain that I feel?

Yes she loves me and I want to love her back.

Nevertheless, too many bridges have been crossed.

 

Therefore, I stay in this life unable to go.

How could one leave another knowing the pain it will cause?

Therefore, I sit here painfully loving the one I do not.

 

Is it fair to her that I stay this way?

It is better I pay with the invisible scars, than to make her feel pain for a love she has lost.

Reviews

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
Once again another sentimental journey on your jarta. Since you are rhyming, suggest you do line separations so the beginning might appear as:

Too wish for love is that a crime.
To hope for just a small taste so divine.

I am lost in a tempest of emotion that the squalls and the pain
of a heart have no name. (you might add more words here to keep rhythm with the upper line)

You come to me in my dreams, the ones I dread -
because inside I fell dead. (once again, possibly more words to keep syllable count).

As far as the writing goes, I would say you have the panaesthesia pristinely over this prose. :7

[ron]

Thank you. That does seem to work better.
panaesthesia pristinely over this prose? Not sure what that means but I will take it as a complament.

[dw817]

"I would say you have the panaesthesia pristinely over this prose."
I'm just being silly. Panaaesthesia means the encompassing of all the senses. And pristinely means in an unspoiled and spotless condition. It's a compliment, but I coulda chosen simpler words. Just showing off. :3

[ron]

NO dont change thing its what makes you who you are. I will just have to try and cath up...lol.

[dw817]

Awright then. :) In any case, I'm working on NP now. Should be done here in a bit.

[poetdoug]

It is better I pay with the invisible scars, than to make her feel pain for a love she has lost."
Great colorful climax to a well-penned poem. You have a wonderful mix of reality and fantasy.
Thanks my friend

[ron]

Oh who said it was fantasy. Im afraid it is all 100% reality in my case. And thank you.

[Fahmida]

WoW!
This is beautiful.
such a great talent you have. loved it.

[ron]

Thank you. You are most kind.

[Fahmida]

Anytime....:D

[RainDancer1997]

This is great:) Personally I would let go, because truthfully it isn't fair to them pretending with false love. Eventually they would let go farther down the line and it would only hurt them.

[ron]

It just hard. I would rather live in missoury than to intentinaly hurt some one.

[Sami Khalil]

"Therefore, I stay in this life unable to go.
How could one leave another knowing the pain it will cause?
Therefore, I sit her painfully loving the one I do not.

Is it fair to her that I stay this way?
It is better I pay with the invisible scars, than to make her feel pain for a love she has lost."
You touch on all the aspects of love and relationships in general. All beautiful lines and questions...:)

[ron]

Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Wall of Words]

I don't know if I've said it yet (I've certainly thought i a hundred times), but you are a great poet. And that's understating the fact. You have a way in which you can turn feeling and ideas and thought into beautiful, methodical, elegant prose. It's amazing. A lot of people could try to explain love and lost love and un-returned love, but it's not nearly as likely that those people can turn it into an amazing poem like you can.

Just a few things you might want to think about:

"Why does it hurt when don’t love the one who loves you?"
I think you meant to put a "you" before "don't".

"Nevertheless, too many bridges have all been crossed."
I'd say delete "all." It breaks up the smooth flow of the poem, and it's extraneous.

"Therefore, I sit her painfully loving the one I do not."
probably meant to be "here" not "her."

Great poem, as always. XD
Sylvia.

[ron]

Thank you for the corections, it was very help full. And thank you so much for your kind words about my writings.