the big wind

child's perspective of a hurricane

it was a great whirlwind
the draft increased as i skipped down the road, my mother a few feet back, watching me as i
turned back and smiled the biggest i had in months. my dad had just died, leaving me and a
grieving mother alone. the rest of my family hadn’t liked us much, especially after my mom and
dad got married because they accidentally had me. i looked the right of where i was standing.
there it was. of course i hadn’t known what it was, but it came towards me, and i was drawn to it.
my mother’s countenance turned in an instant. she became frightened and pale when she saw it
too. nobody had noticed i was gone until my mother turned back. i was lost in the sea of anxious
runners. they pushed against me as i ran towards the great winds. there was a bounce in my
step. i felt myself being drawn into what i considered the calm wind.
the end was coming.
it attracted me towards it.
i closed my eyes,
it took me away,
i never saw again.
i was never ok again.
i was never there again.
i was never there.

Author's Note

this story took a weird turn somewhere and I really don't know what happened but I still wanted people to read this unedited because I feel weird about it so I want opinions. it was more of the child not really being there and this was all his imagination or a journey through how you can experience it. I tried not to actually mention hurricane to give it the more child feel of the unknown.

Reviews

[Hbrook]

Wow... Just...wow. This blew me away. When I read it the first time I thought that the kid got hit by a car and the second time I thought it was about being drawn into depression at the innocence of a younge age. Then I read what you wanted it to be and it blew me over like a house of cards lol. Bravo! Good job!

[Great Aunt Astri]

I think the lack of capital letters adds to the mystery and flow. The ambiguity is also effective. Yes, I think it could well be the child imagining a frightening situation and saying to herself "I was never there¬"... perhaps in an attempt to make 'it' go away. Good for you for writing this interesting read.

[MelGo30~]

I think my mind turned the meaning into something else. Instead of a hurricane, i think the child is describing his surrounding situations. How his life is turning into a hurricane (or a mess) after some unfortunate events.