A teacher:a sparkle

Shining fairylight ,Best childrens classicals ,NLP secrets, a beautiful wall decor , sick roomie ,small bed ,dark room ,a laptop,cup of tea,boiling water. 

And certainly , a flaw of flowing reality. 

There is some beautiful essence of nature ,which makes people feel soothing . It is something which builds up the mind ,builds up orientation ,and creates ornamentation . It may be rhythm ,it may be music. 

The universe wants to  express this rhythm through some people to the rest of the world. To flow a new vibe ,to extend and open new thoughts . To express the unseen ,unlistened , unknown . People are chosen, people dont have anything of their own . 

From my birth time I had this deep connection and love with rhythm . I still feel excited when I remember the memories . It was a small city . I was little kid . There used to be load shedding . Darkness is everywhere . Stars are blinking to me . And there is my mother ,my father and little me . And i was always disturbing them to tell poems ,stories .What a time ! I wish I could ever be back that time . This adulthood , unnecessary crowd ,people are burden . As both of my parents were  literature graduates , they had lot of stories in their pocket . I really liked my father used to tell me about hamlet , king lear . And my mother used to tell me poem of rabindranath tagore,kazi nazrul islam ,rythm . And the deep vacancy I feel now ,today there is no one to tell me poems ,stories under the sky ,silence everywhere . Today I am surrounded by people i dont want to be surrounded with . 

Today electricity is everywhere . I cannot communicate with stars .It feels sad. When i was child ,mars came near to earth . My mother used to say ,i was always looking at it . Astral body is fantastic . Still i remember ,i was 5 years old . I used to play a game with stars . I used to compress my eyes and look at stars . Its light used to be straight line .I used to change the length of the straight line changing the compression of my eyes. It was an amazing game . There are cluster of six stars in sky . A star nearby moon and a star glowing at every evening . They come every evening in front of door . I used to talk with them . My mummy used to cook ,father was outside. Hiding all i used to go to see sky . Amazing ,precious ,mysterious . But today , i lost all of these company . Today i am a grown woman . World feels burden . At night mother does not let go out of house . I don't like all these apartments which manacle me ,suppress me . I dont want to live in this busy Dhaka .I just want to go back to that essence ,i grew up.

When I judge the things ,life was pretty good in the past. It was fantastic when I grew up being hidden from the world . Still i wish i shall go back to that world one day.

People who are blessed with thoughts and rhythm by birth ,may face the same situation . You don't want to be everywhere with everyone . You need self time ,you want to generate and explore new ideas but company is a real burden. In my 10th grade I had the capability of writing 10-12 poems per day. My rhythm was praised,I had rhythm making capability .But then ? one day I started human communication,started to use facebook,social media . And I faced unhealthy ,unwanted company. My capability got ruined . My quality of rhythm fall down , i lost my capability to think creatively ,explore and generate ideas. Long years passed. I thought I would never be able to produce it anymore . The spirit of a poet inside me died. The learner died ,the mind full with spark and enthusiasm died. I was lost somewhere I don't know. One day a teacher entered the class. A defense person , full of spark . A professor used to radiate knowledge ,purity ,truth , and strength. One day a speech by this respected person shaked me inside . Suddenly my soul remembered who I was , my actual identity. I outbrusted with tears. I was trying to sooth myself silently and control my tears. After long years I got a spark in my dead soul .Somewhere I felt or I got a strength that I should try at last again. I did better . Completed my 3rd year with almost 100 percent of attendance . Then the end came . It was last class of avionics by this respectful and amazing personality person . It just broke me totally . I cried after coming hostel hiddenly.The last inspiration source of my life has gone . The speech sparkled me , drived me to go back my past version ,to go back my original essence will be nowhere . Time passed away , I kept this inspiration in memory . The last sentence sir said “ Be a good human first” “ dedication is important with sincerity”  I asked sir “ sir How you defense people have strong nerve,how to make nerves strong” Sir asked what happened. I said sir my nerves doesnot work.,sir asked if i have any medical issues . I stayed silent . I respect this person so much i dont want to lie easily. And i cannot express. I couldnot express the best teacher i have ever seen in my life is that i ruined my brain years after years in trauma .Now its capability has gone . After that i came back house for vacation ..I kept this advice ,insipiration that sir used to give in class.. And i decided to find my inspiration within me . I again started to read poetry ,academic books ,work in software,art,craft like i used to do before . I got better .

I have a genius senior swarna dutta . Her essence inspires me . When i see her essence it just remind me my past . I read her writings in medium . Her presence ,essence spark a strength to be a strong woman again .

I dont know from where i started writing this article and till now in which direction i have reached . Keyboard and pen have a nice quality . It doesn't get tired easily . Its okay.

Situation of material world never changed technically. I just dont love to waste time ,energy and attention participating in unnecessary clashes, dramas ,quarrels and burden. 

Sometimes it is problematic to mix with all specially when you cannot hide your genuine essence and nature all the time . People feel good at your company ,you become an inspiration , motivator ,advisor. You take care and support . But all these human company and excessive vocal communication drain you. Your face gets pale. You don't get the space and time to sit with yourself . You crave for your long time company but it becomes hard. 

You feel better that you want to hide from this world . I think I ran and hid. I ran when some poet tried to communicate with me , when I was invited in conference of poets , I ran from people . I think it was good . I don't want to join any society . I don't want to materialize my hobby. I don't want to be a competitor of earning fame and money . I always want to be a lonely child playing with stars ,thinking and being happy. 

I know I shall lose my rythm in crowd.

From the perspective of reality ,whatever i feel is :  A progressive ,genuine and pure soul writer have two option to stay rooted to his/her god given blessing . Hide yourself physically and express with pen and paper publication . Or, Express yourself physically and hide yourself in pen and paper publication . 

The most important is dont expect this world to understand you . You may be misunderstood by people many times. Go in your own away, stay happy in your own personal space ,leave the world behind 🙂

Date : 27/07/2025

Time : 11:01 am.