The Mourning

This is dedicated to my Grandpa, we love you, and my Grandma, life does go on.

I dream of a face

Imagine the whisper of a voice

Calling to me

Tempting me to follow

Into darkness, Blackness

 

What is this here for?

This soul that can't feel anything

But an ache, a pain

The loss of half its other

Disappeared

To be lost among white lights

And cotton candy clouds

 

Sometimes I think

No one can feel

As lost as I

Amongst a maze of hedges

Of stars, of time

 

My days pass with no real meaning

No understanding

So lost

So does this soul wander?

Where do I belong?

 

You've tethered me down

Safe to the ground

But now I am adrift

With no purpose and no meaning

 

Why must I feel so small?

Why must my eyes leak so?

Betraying my strength

Betraying my real thoughts

 

These eyes betray my soul

To look around and see nothing

All the things that brought forth joy

They seem to have lost all their fruit

Seeming never to bear such sweetness without you

 

What can I do?

The mountains are so tall

The seas too deep

My mind so empty

Why do your pictures seem to fade?

 

Why must everything lose its' essence

Its' feeling

Its' touch

 

I sit in the mirror

 Watching the world from afar

Trapped in this day

Automatic, nearly robotic

 

With a kiss of cold metal

Everything mechanical

Feeling nothing

Watching everyone close suffer

Helpless to change

 

I don't need to be here

I see so much suffering

Here without you

There is no sunshine

There is no life

 

I am hollow inside

Cold, cold as metal flesh

Nothing can touch me

Nothing can get in

 

I can't see beyond

This river's murky depth

Cannot breathe

For my tears begin to drown me

Turning from all who have loved me

Running from all the joy that could be

 

I'm unable to see without you

Unable to breathe without you

 

I must learn to wake up again

Learn to breathe again

Must learn to live once more

Must try to love once more