too many if's

written as i of the storm

there are to many ifs to remember when
the battle began tamed fire within
a flurry of fury hurts me
worse you blood for blood
words to actions become slashing tools
faced down in the mud
inflated egos have us playing the parts of fools
cause we have a need not to lose
soy un perdedor
yeah I'm a loser but i don't want to be killed
i desire to be healed
ducking blasted caps just to get back
get back?
what was it i was trying to get back
instant sanity like quaker oats
hoped to cook up i guess hope
just as the game ends it begins again
stuck knee deep in concrete
as it seams i was part of the mix
forever fixed to get that fix
just yay close to that hit
i can feel it in my bones
the escape
where's that red s and silly cape
I'm gonna fly high up up and over take me away
i don't wanna see the people in the neighborhood
the people that you meet each day
the ones that make you weak week after week
i wanna hop that trolley to the land of make believe
maybe it'll feel more real then the the actual
counting the days 123456789101112
then just dododododododododo
pinball wizard ricocheting over and under
rolling by windows only peering in
but the bars on them won't let me pass through
yeah maybe I'm just spouting bull
but i got this bug that won't leave me alone
something telling me I'm standing in the danger zone
jitterbugging trying to pull the plug
or maybe I'm just punch drunk
trying to fight the system down
swinging wild in the dark
i black eye my brother as he returns the favor
birds of a feather tethered together
now and forever? stacking the cheddar
father promised a better
the life sucks out the soul
the carpenters kid always carrying the hammer and nails
building dreams on cracked foundations
what does it matter if we set back generations
it's just another situation
that they ain't doing nothing with
right?