the butterfly

this poem has 2 subjects .one is ofcourse the butterfly and the butterfly also symbolises woman

i am a butterfly

an epitome of beauty

an expected perfection 

my beauty lies in the colors that i possess

and god makes me help in a beautiful process

i carry the magical beads

which helps the birth of new seeds

 

i love making the flowers bloom

and i give the lull a new boon

my colors exude a crunch of enigma 

a bunch of tentalising mystery 

which has always intrigued the history 

my subtle touch makes my affection travel

and let the happiness unravel

i love your real admire

not the wrong desire

don't hold me for too long 

don't force me to sing the sad song

let me retain my playful book

a pure bible like vibgyor outlook

but i am strong 

and i will walk all seasons long

i will never stop flying no matter of the devious tryings.

Author's Note

ignore the punctuations please :)

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i rarely if ever use punctuation myself.

i really like these lines:

"i love your real admire/ not the wrong desire"

excellent stuff.

i so do like this piece...two small suggestions..."tantalizing" is the spelling..

and i would leave out the description...let the readers get that on their own, and if not, they may see other things in your poem...and that makes it universal...which is the best we can hope for...to have readers identify in some way with our poetry.

nice work.

jacob

[sakshi arora]

thanks it really helped me :)

[Sami Khalil]

"i love making the flowers bloom

and i give the lull a new boon




my colors exude a crunch of enigma

a bunch of tentalising mystery

which has always intrigued the history "
That is called some good poetry. You have the gift and you are utilizing it...:)

[Vikrantsingh]

If you see the curve of your poem is half complete the worm which is turning to an butterfly. Pleasant simple and very well timed. Your understanding to this subject for butterfly/woman is way beyond my imagination. I love the turns and twists. Hopefully you will come-up with some more wonderful poem like this one of your.

Keep writing more and more to clear your doubts and don't write for sake of writing.
Write to enjoy ;)

That's the right way :)

Smiles!
Singh :)

[sakshi arora]

thanks it really boosted my urge to write :)

[Vikrantsingh]

Welcome Dear :) ~ that how we encourage New Poets here ;)

[Rahul]

Nice Butterfly ..hope this butterfly can fly too..lol :P nicely penned, the flow of ink's great..this piece's been come from youse real life and it's totally based on ya that's what i got from here..
100/100

[sakshi arora]

thanks for appreciation but it is a general thought what women go through in conservative societies :)

[Rahul]

Really ? :P

[sakshi arora]

yes :)

[Rahul]

Wow, great to hear a new thing about pretty women's...lol
thanks, hope one day i'll be flying with such a red flies...lol :)

[sakshi arora]

lol n ol d best

[Mark]

Very nice, butterflies are beautiful and women are supposed to be too. But there is more to each thsn meets the eye.

[sakshi arora]

thanks alot its my first post and thanks for being so supportive :)

[Will Neill]

Sakshi, I enjoyed reading your first piece of poetry, top marks for such a nice gentle rhryme-just take a little more time with your capitals and punctuation before posting it will read and look much better above all keep writing.
Will

[sakshi arora]

thanks a lot :) i am glad that you reviewed and yes i l try to impeove on the points you stated

[Uroš D. Stojanov..]

This is amazing! I just loved the flow of the poem and the rhyme!
I really don't see anything wrong with it and would love to read more from you...
Keep at the work. :)

[sakshi arora]

thanks a ton :)