I Didn't See It Coming

A Story by Stacy Lyann

After being woken by a blinding light, Stephanie finds that her life is to change forever.

12:32am and this blinding white light fills my dark room. So bright that it woke me from what I felt like the start of a deep sleep. Laying there comfortably stretched out in my California King bed with an extra plushy comforter, two thoughts simultaneously hit me. First, it's after midnight, where did that bright light come from? Second, it's after midnight, why am I alone in bed? Just as fast as those thoughts came, faster came the reasoning, Kevin was clearly getting ready for work, turned on the light and I must not have been sleeping nearly as deeply as it felt. I always did that, I always found a way to reason away things. After 17 years with Kevin and two kids, it became as natural as breathing. No need to question anything even if instinctually my subconscious knew I should have. There’s that subconscious creeping in again, why is it so quiet? If Kevin is getting ready for work, wouldn’t I hear him? The dogs aren’t even making any noise, well besides their snoring. Wait, why is he getting ready for work now? He doesn’t need to leave until 3:30am?

I rolled out of bed after my silent argument with myself. The entire house is dark and Kevin isn’t here. I open the front door and there he is, just about the turn the corner at the end of the walkway into the driveway. Dressed for work, lunch bag in tow, three hours before he had to leave.

“Kevin?”

I see him hesitate slightly. Did he consider acting like he didn’t hear me? What is happening?

“Kevin, where are you going?”

Ever so slowly Kevin turns around, “I’m meeting up with a friend.”

No emotion is on his face. I can’t read him because for the first time he is looking at me with his dark eyes and a blank expression. His eyes that always conveyed such a softness toward me now empty. The hollowness startled me deep in my core.

“What friend?” I ask him.

“Just a friend.”

I hesitate, “Man or woman?” as I sink into the patio chair near the front door.

“A woman of course? Why would you ask if it was a man?”

I’m hit with a waive of disbelief and nauseous and everything begins to spin. I didn’t see it coming. I had no clue. Seventeen years and through the ups and the downs, I didn’t see what was right before me.

“Who is she?” I ask him. I’m not even sure how I was able to string words together. My tongue felt swollen and the air was impossible.

“I’m not doing this with you right now I’m leaving” was all he could muster. Kevin turned to leave and somehow the cement broke free from around my legs and I followed after him. In the quiet stillness of the night, I didn’t yell, I wasn’t crying, I pleaded with my husband. “Please, come back inside and talk to me, we can get through this, just talk to me.”

Kevin climbed into his car and rolled down the window. “I don’t want to talk to you. We can talk after I get home from work.”

“Wait, is this a delayed April fool’s joke?” I just realized that he didn’t pull a prank on me yesterday, again, reasoning everything away. “This is a pretty messed up prank, this is your worst one ever.”

“I’m not playing a prank on you, Stephanie! I’m leaving, I don’t want to talk to you, we’re done, you should have seen this.”

The fool that I was I just stood there dumbfounded. How?! How the heck was I supposed to see this coming? How after 17 years and the endless promises was I supposed to see it? How was I supposed to see it after the surprise flowers and dinner last month on Valentines day when he was supposed to be at work but chose to come home and spoil me as he did every year? The world was spinning again. Time slowed down like it does in the movies. I felt detached from reality on a level I have never experienced but only read about. For some reason, he was leaving and I couldn’t process anything he was saying. Kevin is leaving, three hours before work, to a friends house, a woman’s house, we’ll talk later….

“Wait? Where are you going?! Who is she? Is it a coworker? Do I know her? Are you sleeping with her?”

I feel dumb saying this and part of me is asking myself why am I asking these questions? Do I really want to know if the love of my life is sleeping with his coworker? The nauseous feeling is working its way higher in my throat.

“I told you a friend.”

All I could do was repeat my line of questioning like I was interrogating him. But why? What result was I actually looking for right now? I’m running on two hours of sleep and fighting the sick from escaping.

“Yes, a coworker. Yes, you know her. She’s actually Hannah’s friend.”

I’m gripping his car door trying to keep my balance and in some way believe that he loves me enough, he wouldn’t ever hurt me so naturally he won’t drive away while I’m clinging to my marriage. Suddenly the words he just said,so nonchalantly, settles in and the full weight lands. Hannah? My sister in law Hannah? But she only has one friend that works with him.

“Amber?! The one you spent years telling me was considered the office door knob? The one who has three daughters with three baby-daddies that you found so revolting? You’re joking right? This is all a horrible joke!”

‘Stephanie, I’m not doing this with you, I’m leaving, I’m sorry.”

Kevin starts backing down the driveway, but I’m still holding his doorframe. He hits the gas and I have no choice but to let go. I crumble in the driveway and the sobbing begins. Through my tears he drives away without a care in the world. A life, home, marriage, family, all shattered in the middle of the night. Like a thief who came to kill, steal and destroy and was successful. But as fast as the tears began they stopped because the logical reasoning that I allowed to control me for so long took over and took charge. I had to get back up, because inside the house slept our fifteen year old son who had to learn that his dad left and whose birthday was just a few days away.

I didn’t see it coming, the night my life would change as fast as a flash of light. What comes next?