cataract-clouded memories

too old to see; too young to die
she hunches over
as people pass her by.

perhaps in the midst of
sips of tea
she allows her mind
to wander free.

[dancing through cataract-clouded memories]

snapshots of earthen
grassy hills
where she sipped her fill
of joy.

images of sapphire
silken streams
where she fell in love
with a boy.

outlines of strength in her
daddy’s hands
as he gave her the courage
to dream.

hints of the scents
of morning glory mist
when the world was more
than it seemed.

snippets of sugar
on the tip of her tongue
as she fed her horse
a piece.

moments of madness
as she danced around
and followed the lure
of caprice.

yet all she feels now is
the cold in her bones
and the way time has passed her so soon.

and all she sees
is the darkness deep
and the outline of a sunny afternoon.

there’s not enough time
to heal her heart
and not enough strength
to cry.

so she sips her tea
on an empty street
as people pass her by.

Reviews

[Kelly D.]

I always love you.

(always)

This is so sad, and beautiful at the same time. Your words are so tragic and deep, and are wonderful at evoking the emotion of the reader. Everything about this piece was flawless. Your flow, and rhyme, and words; they all married themselves to create this magnificent piece.

Have I told you lately that you're amazing?

(always, always)

[Ross Korben]

Sad but true! It does paint a picture in my mind so that I dont ever want to be like that! So, carrots have been added to my diet! :)

[Yira Simone]

This was really good! I love how you rhymed this and kept a perfect flow. Great imagery! Wow...this was a outstanding take on this photo.-Catrina

[Rachel P. Salamone]

very enjoyable. i like the flow. some say that rhyming ruins a piece (if its fitting for the subject of the piece i strongly disagree with that) but i think it adds a great sound to this. fun fun.

[Nicole Hellene]

Dang, that was hands down a great caption for that photo. You win! I conceed!

[Tylernol]

Thats really sad.

I love your writing.

I feel bad for this girl. Like by the end, she realizes that time has become...an overwhelming concept to grasp hold of...and just kind of gives into it, just sipping her tea.

Or maybe I'm off on that. Either way, this was a really interesting read :]

[Alicia]

there's not enough time
to heal her heart
and not enough strength
to cry.

so she sips her tea
on an empty street
as people pass her by.


that made me fall on love with the piece. good job!

[[untitled]]

i love the tempo you have set in this piece. :)

[Kira Love]

So simply sweet and yet so emotional. Awesome imagery and a great interpretation of the photo. Your rhythm and rhyme flow beautifully. Nice job!

[Sweet Caroline]

Sadly beautiful and poignant. The last stanza, superb.
Carol