meanwhile i keep dancing

i almost died the other day.

as i sat at my desk
i almost died.

my inner anguish choked me
as i thought of all the nights
without someone to hold
and the incessant pointlessness
of so many of the things we do.

i almost died
with the thought of having to live
the rest of my life.

i gazed at that closed door
and vaguely wondered
where the damn window of happiness was
then i looked towards the wall
and saw plastered concrete eggshell
covered with a single piece of art:

"I get up. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."

i recall the falls
but for the life of me
couldn't remember the last time
i had truly danced

and with that thought
i almost died.

and as the squealing sound of tires
screeched from outside the building
i stared at that near-empty, windowless wall
and wondered who would die today
and when that crash
would come.

i waited for metal to meet metal
and for the morbid opportunity
to walk outside
and see the scene.

the wait was so long
i considered dying
to pass the time.

the tire squeals kept sounding
and the acceleration kept increasing
and i vaguely wondered
what the hell is going on...

then came the crash
and i thought 'yup, there it is'
as concrete blocks exploded
and bricks were thrown.
plaster dust covered the room
and the sound of my screams
surprised me.

i was anticipating the crash
yet not expecting the crash
to be me.

and amid all those thoughts of dying
i thanked god
i was alive.

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Youe poems are always so far above me that I struggle to understand. Is the crash metaphorical, symbolizing the death of a relationship or the coming of one of life's many crisises? I guessed relationship because of the use of the closed door. Are you pointing to the hopelessness that we feel at those times when you use the words death, died or dying? The message that I took from this poem, that I read in the final stanza, was that "This too shall pass."

Was I in the ballpark?

[Chase Alexander]

the wait was so long
i considered dying
to pass the time.

A wonderful stanza and my favorite part of the poem.

This is a great piece. The only things I didn't like were the unneeded usage of cuss words and "yup".

Otherwise a very very good piece.

-Chase Alexander

[obsolete]

You are 2 for 2 in my book. Another job well done Kara. In both of the poems I have read, you convey loneliness so well. Your writing takes me to so many times in my life; the nostalgic feeling I get is refreshing despite the fact that these were times of despair. I will continue to read and I hope you will continue to write.

[Benjamin Seymour]

I don't know what it is exactly, but there was something about this that really struck me. An excellent piece. I'm sorry that it's not a particularly helpful review... merely encouragement.

[Kerri Gates]

I recall the falls
but for the life of me
couldn't remember the last time
i had truly danced

and with that thought
i almost died.

the wait was so long
i considered dying
to pass the time.

and amid all those thoughts of dying
i thanked god
i was alive.


The prior makes that whole poem. That is the poem. Is this about suicide? It seems as though it is. Well, if it's not, it would really help a sucicidal person to read this. If I was about to slit my wrist, I think this would help me change my mind. Nice job.

[Steven Szepietowski]

This will probably sound crazy, but I kept thinking 'Chaucer' when i was reading this. But I must be crazy because it's nothing like it. I think the repetition is gripping, and feels powerful without feeling overburdened. I like that you feel a little boxed in with the scant descriptions you give too, like the specific things you mention all contribute to a real feeling of....well something, I don't like labels but I wouldn't really say modernish, but whatever.

I like the title, and the line about dancing. I hope you don't share the narrator's same lack of dancing. Because I

[MAC]

Kara, a brilliant tale of becareful what you wish for. It is as if you allowed us to hear you think....love the way you talk to yourself in this. You gave me a window seat into your mind and I loved it! Thank you :) Yeppers, brilliant....

((hugs))
Mark

[Anhedonia 1349]

I reread this again. Everything I said about it before still reigns true now only this time I've found about a hundred single-sentence lines of genius that could all in some way or other describe how I feel right now, at this very moment in time.

i recall the falls
but for the life of me
couldn't remember the last time
i had truly danced

i was anticipating the crash
yet not expecting the crash
to be me.

You're a genius, Karabelle. I just want you to know that. And you brighten our worlds with your genius. Just keep that in mind.

[Boyd Johnson]

this is great.
"i almost died
with the thought of having to live
the rest of my life."
i think that ws my favorite line. then the ending just summed the whole thing up so well.
nicely done.

[Louis Elliot]

I have felt like this so many times in my life, you capture the raw emotion of a brain at tims like those. the only difference is i dont thank god and ont wish i was alive.
Ilove his

[Six Impossible Things]

I looked and the picture and wow. Glad you're okay. And honored that you would share this experience with us.

Its like time slowed down for you. I can feel it. I haven't experienced it, but I can feel it.
the wait was so long
i considered dying
to pass the time

wow